I was talking with a friend of mine a few weeks ago, and he was going on about how he is always hearing about how "nice guys finish last." In my head, I'm just thinking great, another whiny nice guy debate. I bet pureeing my ovaries would be more fun than to talk about this again... Then he started expressing his take on the...phenomenon, I guess we may appropriately call it. I was intrigued to hear his thoughts. He then asked me if he could write a blog about it so I could publish from a guy's point of few on the matter. Then a while ago, an article emerged that was a letter a girl had written to herself, kicking herself for letting the nice guy go. I showed the article to Nick, (the aforementioned friend) and his response was to email me the following:
It has come to my attention that an increasing number of the male population are coming down with a terrible affliction. Diagnosis? Nice Guy Syndrome. Sufferers of NGS assume that life isn't fair to "nice" guys and that "nice" guys finish last. Well, "nice" guys do indeed finish last. They finish after ugly guys, even. And there is a very good reason for this. No, women don't love jerks. No, women are not the most shallow people, nor are they animalistic. They just crave a relationship with a little substance, with something deeper than "niceness." Oh, and being nice for your own personal gain isn't being nice at all. No woman, nor any person for that matter, is obligated to give you ANYTHING for being nice. One should be nice because all people deserve kindness and respect. All people are still indeed people. Nobody deserves to be treated poorly. And now you're thinking "but I am nice to women, but I'm not getting anything out of it." Let me repeat myself, being nice to get something is not kindness at all. In fact, this is called manipulation and is a terrible thing to do to another human being. As I said before, all people crave a deeper relationship than simply just kindness. So, do yourself a favor and become deeper than the fake niceness that you usually display. Not to gain women, you understand, but to become a better and deeper person. Think about what you love and become more invested in it. Rather than looking for the perfect person, become the perfect you. I promise that you will find more happiness and more people in your life. Get over your self-pitying and get a life. Your happiness is dependent on you, not on others. You can ignore this advice and continue to try and manipulate people into giving you what you want, but it won't happen. People in general are pretty perceptive and can see right through your transparent attempts. You think that women choose a "jerk" over you because they like to get their heart broken, when in actuality, the "jerk" is just more dynamic of an individual. At least in their eyes. Perhaps if "nice" guys would stop making a fake "perfect gentleman" façade, they would understand that their approach is wrong. Treat others as actual humans and you will see an increase in the amount of people in your life.
For the record, I want you all to know the subject line in this email is "Nick W******'s Views on 'Nice Guys' More Like Nice Try LOLZ"
That's why we are friends.