Sunday, March 24, 2013

everybody, everybody wants to love

"I want you to levitate; I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish. Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. I say, fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who will love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well, you forget your head and you listen to your heart... Cause the truth is, honey, there's no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try, cause if you haven't tried, you haven't lived." - - Meet Joe Black

Everything I feel about love comes from this quote. Meet Joe Black is one of my most favorite movies--and for those of you who have seen it, I know, it's incredibly long and slow moving, but it's so full of passion, love, what life should be. It's really wonderful. And any time I think about falling in love, it all comes back to that quote. Loving with your entire being, holding nothing back. To love with passion and excitement, no reservations. Just two people, being who they are, loving and being loved for that completely.

And I don't know where this is coming from. Maybe it's just that life is really wonderful right now, despite some struggles, and I just can't stop laughing or smiling, and for some reason that just makes me want to be in love! I have great jobs that make me incredibly happy to work, I've got friends, family, and roommates that I adore, and I have a knowledge of the gospel and a relationship with my Savior.

Most of all, I've just been looking at life, asking the question: does it really matter? In the eternal perspective of things, will this matter?

I've focused a lot of time and energy on problems beyond my control, and I've finally let them all go. With this new sense of freedom, I just want to live and love, and experience life. There are so many wonderful beautiful things in this world, and I want to enjoy them all, to have eyes wide open and a heart to treasure it all in.

Perhaps this is all a little crazy and hard to follow, so in short, I just want to say: LOVE LIFE! AND LOVE LOVE! It's my new found resolve to embody all the passion and thrill this world has to offer in this short time we all have to live in it.

And although I am talking about the kind of love between two people, I also mean in general. Love for friends, work, school, (which I don't go to) etc. I think too often many people only let themselves feel half-heartedly. Myself included at times. But I also think that we aren't meant to live like that. Every moment is precious, every person is precious, why don't we all just open ourselves entirely and let it all in, while giving our whole hearts away in return? Don't let the world make you afraid, don't let it make you cold. If you emit life and warmth and energy, people are going to come from miles around to catch a glimpse.

So smile wider, laugh often, and love with everything you have. Because that's what makes life grand.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

happy birthday mom

For my kind, endearing mother,

A woman whom has always been my rock, my strength, my light. A best friend, an example, and all that I ever aspire to be--as a wife, and a mother.

To someone who is so selfless, so caring, so wonderful.


Anyone who has not had the pleasure of meeting such an extraordinary woman, she writes published novels, articles, and children's stories.

She carried and raised(still raises) 10 children. My youngest brother has Down Syndrome, and my mom spends hours every day teaching him, helping him grow, loving him.
I look up to my mom so much, and want more than anything to emulate who she is, and it's hard to imagine how any woman could perfect being a mother so well, when she didn't have the same example. She has such strength, such happiness, such love. I watch her love my siblings and I, my dad, and I am always in awe. I'm sure there have been times that I've let her down, but she never tells and shows me anything less than whole hearted love and support.

Someday, when I'm grown up and married, I know what I want my marriage to be. I know I can be as in love with my own husband on the day we wed....

Nearly 30 years later....

I have the most wonderful parents.

My mother is one who is brilliant, and goofy, strong willed and tenderhearted. She is never at a loss for words (guess who she passed that trait along to?...) and she will say exactly how she feels about any given situation--which I often laugh about, but truly admire. She never let's thoughts or opinions of other sway what she knows to be right and true, and she will fight for it to the very death. Go ahead, ask her about abortion. I'm thankful to have been raised by her, and I can't wait for my babies to know her as their grandma. (Not pregnant. Or married. That's obviously a future anticipation.) I am so glad you were born, and I know the family has made this day special, I just wish I could have been home for it. You're the best!

Also, my mom's a babe. She still looks good.

Thanks mom. For everything. I couldn't have asked for anyone better. I need you, I love you, I want to be just like you.

The chipettes sing it best!

love, your baby girl

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

can you spot me?


As someone who regularly (used to) work out at the gym, I have to say how annoying it is to be in the middle of my workout, and get interrupted by some bulky, bulging man who forgot leg day, trying to pick up on me. I personally go to the gym to try and get fit--then once I look good, and I shower and get dressed up and actually have make up on, feel free to ask me out.

Usually going to the gym, I have my headphones in, my hair back, and I get sweaty and red faced, and I just want to concentrate on my workout. (Granted, I have worn make up at the gym many times, but I go to the gym after I've been to work, and I definitely don't care enough to take it off before I go. So whatever.)

*If a girl is wearing a bikini, with her hair and make up perfectly done, walking on the treadmill for a minute and spending a lot of time "rehydrating", homegirl has mistaken the drinking fountain for the watering hole and is ready to be hunted. Feel free to go after those ones, leaving the rest of us alone.

Girls that aren't interested in having some sweating man interrupting her workout to ask her to spot him, usually have a shirt on, headphones in, and have red, blotchy faces, dripping sweat. Not attractive anyways...right? Although, it is really attractive to be told that you're doing an exercise wrong. There's nothing I love more than a man making me feel incompetent. Oh. Wait.

Maybe I'm wrong....

"Hey girl, I've been watching you climb that StairMaster for the last 10 minutes, can I have your number?"

But probably not.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Esteemed Self--guest post

So as a blogger, I get caught up a lot in reading different blogs, because I love getting into other people's heads and trying to hear their thoughts and see through their eyes, and I stumbled upon this especially wonderful post. I asked the author DJ Scheerer if I could share it as a guest post. It reads as follows:

The Esteemed Self

I don't know where this came from. It's one of those times when I can't control the words. They flow like water from a breached levee. Sometimes I notice something that I feel like others notice but can't quite articulate. Much of this may sound cliche or trite, but it isn't. What I have to write is immensely, vastly important. There is almost no way to write this as a male and not sound like I am pandering to females for my own self-aggrandizement.

There are so many girls out there who are desperately seeking to be noticed. So many girls looking for validation in the wrong places, so many rebelling against any and all labels placed upon them, so many that languish in relative obscurity and a daily sense of smallness. I hear their silent screams. I follow their blogs, I look at their uploaded pictures, I read their statuses. And it makes me want to weep for all my powerlessness to do anything about it. If I could tell all the women in the world one thing, it would be: You have worth. It is an intrinsic, inborn, irrefutable worth. And it is immense.

You do not need to have this worth validated by any social, familial, or male groups. If I had the voice, I would shout this from the rooftops; if I had the courage, I would clutch every girl within my grasp and whisper this in their ear; if I had the means, I would start foundations to let every girl know what I know. There is so much more to life than the false hope offered by social media. You deserve more than what your magazines tell you. You are so much more than the narrow picture frames that would trap you. Real men don't want you to look like pornstars and act like immature boys. We want you to be the mothers of our children, our solace in times of trouble, and the sure foundation when the walls around us crumble.

You are wellsprings of power. But make no mistake, this is not power like men have. It is much greater. Not a brute reckless strength, but the innate strength of the hands that have nursed every generation since we began. Your strength waits in an endless reserve of gentle words and caresses. Your strength is not in your iron actions, but your ability to relent, to forgive, to weep, to express emotion. You are brave. Perhaps it is not on the battlefields of great wars, but your bravery is found in silent foxholes of despair where only your consoling embrace can comfort the frightened child, or husband, or stranger. This makes you infinite. This makes you indispensable.

Your body is a temple, respect it. Never apologize for feeling. Run away as fast as you can from any person who makes you feel insignificant, worthless, or anything short of astounding. The same even goes for other girls who make you feel this way. Or any media that does the same. Run away. Run away, and replace it with something positive. There are uplifting things to read, there are better friends out there, and there are some wonderful men out there. (Hint: They are usually not the ones society has programmed you to be attracted to.)

Please women, do not fall to pieces. The rest of us need you too damn much. And in my own insignificant way, I love you all.
Excuse his french there at the end, but I really thought this was something beautiful. I truly feel too often men and women lose sight of how wonderful they are, and it breaks my heart. If everyone always recognized the true, undiminished value we have, no matter what, I think we'd all love a little more. After all, isn't that what we all deserve?
See more of DJ's posts here.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

it was so nice to meet you. so nice.


First and foremost, I wanted to thank all of those fellas whom gave their insight on this. It was much appreciated.

I was at a party a little while ago, and I met a guy, and we got to talking about dating (shocking, I know). He shared with me some stories, and he talked about this girl that he had taken out on a date, had tons of fun with, liked her, etc. but never took out again. When I asked why, he told me he figured she wasn't interested because she never sent him a post-date-"thank you"-text.

Interesting. I thought, these two could go out, have the time of their lives, and be mutually attracted to/interested in each other, but because she doesn't send a thank you text after she gets dropped off, any spark or thank you communicated in person is invalidated? I didn't really like that. Mostly because I don't usually send a thank you text after the date that I can recall. (Possibly the reason I go on so few second dates? Guess we'll find out.)

So, I put the question out there: if a girl doesn't send you a text after the date, does she get a second one?

About 65% of guys on facebook and otherwise, responded in the negative. If she doesn't text, she's probably not interested. However, about half the gentlemen who said that if he had a good time, he would ask her out again regardless of a text, also said that although not required, a text would be nice--just a little reassurance to let him know you're both on the same page.

A friend of mine said, "a date is for 2 people to equally judge and determine if the other is right for them. Although the guy should be a gentleman, the girl should have the decency to show a form of confirmation that a second date is worth either of their time. Then, if the guy feels the same way he needs to ask her out. Dating is a two way deal, not just a time for a guy to show how "nice" he is."

Valid point. Another friend pointed out that he had actually recently conducted a similar experiment, where "150 students were polled [at BYU and UVU] and just over 80% of guys said they would rather get a thank you/appreciation text in order to know if the girl is interested."

It was stated repeatedly that a verbal thank you at the end of the date was simply polite and somewhat obligatory. Although, apparently not always expressed. (Any girl that doesn't say thank you at the end of a date is a complete ignoramus. Don't ask her out again.)

AskMen says:

The Thank-You Rule

Unless you have found the worst date on the planet, she will say thanks when the bill gets paid. That’s just basic manners. But dating goes beyond the simple manners, and the standards are a little different than a dinner in which you treat a client to a steak.

I am very big on the “next day" thank you, either in the form of a text or a call. If you have succeeded in making a first or second date anything more than just awkward conversation between two relative strangers, that is a credit to you and your skills in the dating game. The communication the next day is key, but the main component of that is that she needs to take the first step.
You already did your part when you asked her out. The reason why this one is key is twofold. First, it reinforces that she appreciates what you did -- that you had the nerve to ask her out and you planned an evening. The right girl will call attention to this fact in a nice way in the 48 hours after the date. The second reason is that if she skips this one, she is likely not interested in a second date. Don’t start getting creative and reaching out to her in clever ways to open the door for the thanks. Trust me, I’ve tried it. Posting on her wall does not come across as casual; it’s a pretty obvious play. You need to take this as a hint. If she hasn’t really given you the proper follow-up, you should know not to waste any more time.

Since starting my own little research/experiments on this matter, I have sent thank you texts, and verbally expressed interest, and I've found in my own dating life: a post-date thank you text is a simple, easy way for a girl to let a guy know she's interested. However, I have verbally expressed that interest and I had myself a boyfriend for a hot second. So I guess the conclusion I've reached---just say something, somehow. Communicate. Be gracious. And do so in a timely manner, (within 24-48 hours) because as exciting as a little mystery can be, we all need a little reassurance.

PS. If you don't express interest properly, you're going to end up ordering 3 large pizzas by yourself with only your LOTR action figures as company, while destroying certain soulmates' true love:

Key and Peele kill me.