Sunday, June 21, 2015

dear future husband

So typically on Sundays, I like to share spiritual thoughts or feelings from church or talks I have studied, but I was talking with my family this morning about revelation, and it occured to me that my ideas would appropriately fit in my blog.

All of us have a list of what we are looking for in our significant other. I made a physical list in Young Women's roughly 6 years ago. As time has gone on, the list has changed and grown and shrunk and this morning, I realized I only need 2 qualities in my future husband.

The first quality is that he has to make me laugh. Because I laugh all the time anyways, so whoever I'm with better be able to laugh with me. Obviously.

The second, and most encompassing, and also arguably most important is that he must be someone that seeks for, and lives by revelation. In my experience, the men I have dated that have possessed all the other traits I want, are men that let revelation direct their lives. Because those who live in accordance to revelation are those who love God more than anything or anyone else. They are temple worthy. They are more often than not the ones that served honorable missions. They are people that serve. Letting our Father in Heaven know that we will live in accordance to His will is evidence that we are humble, and teachable. And when we display these traits, we are susceptible to being more loving, more compassionate, more charitable. The more we obey, the more we serve, the more we love. These are purposefully, and divinely intertwined. Men that generally treat women the best, that are typically the most chilvalrous, are ones that know how because they are sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Ghost, that know the value of themselves and others. Obviously humans are flawed, and even living close to the spirit leaves room for error, but the caliber of person who relies heavily on revelation far exceeds those who don't. Not to say those who don't let revelation guide them are bad people, but the chances of them bringing you closer to Christ are far more slim if they aren't constantly calling upon Him. Right? Especially because questions such as where you are going to live, how many kids you'll have, jobs, houses, serving a mission, and things of that nature can all be solved by trusting in the Lord's plan.

Revelation is how we change and learn and grow. Revelation leads us to the Atonement, it's how our Father speaks to us and helps us.

My dad lives his life in such a way. He is the reason I expect what I expect out of the men I date, and likewise why I expect what I do of myself. He is valiant and lets God lead his life in every aspect. My mom and I were discussing about the miracle it is that my dad can and has always been able to provide for a family of 12 with no college degree. And I believe it's because he trusted in the Lord's plan for him and his life. I mean, he is brilliantly smart, so he also emmulates his talents. Luckily, I am constantly, immensely blessed by the way he receives and listens to revelation. 

I don't claim to be perfect. I know I am far from where I need to be. But I do aim for exaltation, and I know revelation is the way to get there. And I cannot love someone (romantically) who isn't on the same path that I am on. I'm not interested in a temporary marriage. I have no interest in loving for a while. I want to love with that forever love that we were promised if we live worthy. I want to be married for time and all eternity, and there is only one way to get there.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

you are really dumb. for real.


In 22 and a half years of life, I have become certain of one thing: boys are dumb.

Eloquent? Maybe not. However as the kids say, it's on point.  (right? That's how you use that? Or is it fleek? Ugh. I dunno. I can't even define fleek or "on point" in this verbiage. High schoolers are weird)

Roughly 3.5 years ago, I go to a Halloween roller skating party with my sisters.

That freaky doll, man....

At this party, I meet a guy. He is super cute and funny and he asks me out. We go on a date and it's relatively fun, probably mostly because he was wearing a fanny pack and I never stopped laughing. GUYS. A FANNY PACK. 
                               Seinfeld gets it.

I would feel bad that I laughed so much, but this guy was soooo into himself. Much more than he was into me. Evidentally he never called me after that first date. For a second, I thought maybe it was because he was sad about all the laughing. When in reality, the guy probably walked passed a mirror, so like, how could I compete really?

And I never talk to him again. So end of story. Or so I thought....

This morning....yes, today on June 14, 2015 YEARS LATER, he messages me. He tells me he is in love with my smile. I'm like...thanks brah? But then he proceeds to tell me how gorgeous and beautiful I am. Naturally, I ask why he is telling me this, because we literally haven't talked for years. I don't know if that point has been made yet. He let's me know that he was really really immature back then and he has grown up now and he wants to take me out again, but before he does he wants to look at my instagram. I gave him shifty eyes (in my mind since you know, he wasn't actually looking at my face) and I gave my user name to him. Then he responds with "still sexy." Uh, thank you? I'm glad I didn't get ugly over the years? In an attempt to brush off the comment I say something along the lines of "oh it's just because I posted a picture of a mustang..." when in my head I'm like ew, you gross. To which he asks if I wanted to make out on the hood. Excuse me, I actually need to throw up now. 

I retorted that it's obvious that he has grown up--*sarcasm--and I let him know that quality women don't respond well to petty, vapid pick up lines such as that and that if he was looking to actually get a woman, he might want to shift his focus to perhaps her personality, her sense of humor, her talents, her testimony maybe. Our conversation ended with his ever witty and highly intelligent message "lol ok." 

Moral of the story? Never go out with a guy that voluntarily totes around a fanny pack. Or the moral is that a large group of men have no idea how to respectfully flatter and flirt with/pick up women. Either or.