Friday, December 20, 2013


If you have logged on to any social media in the last few days, you have undoubtedly seen the controversy about Phil Robertson's interview with GQ. For those of you that are so put off by his remarks, I ask whether or not you have even read the interview? The entire interview. If not, allow me to enlighten you with a few key snippets.

"“Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong,” he says. “Sin becomes fine.”
What, in your mind, is sinful?
“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”"
The first line seems to be the only thing the LGBT can focus on. However, they neglect to recognize that Phil is not singling out homosexuals. He also talks about straight people who sleep with multiple partners, drunks, etc. What also has been neglected is his latter comment:

""We never, ever judge someone on who's going to heaven, hell. That's the Almighty's job. We just love 'em, give 'em the good news about Jesus--whether they're homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort 'em out later, you see what I'm saying?""

So explain to me his bigotry in saying we just need to love? The hypocrisy in the left wing outrage is astounding. He has every right as an American citizen to express his opinion. If you disagree, you might want to read the Constitution...because I'm 99% positive it addresses exactly that issue. A&E doesn't even have a leg to stand on suspending him from the show because he wasn't even on the show when he made the comments--not that it really has the right to regulate his beliefs anyways. 
Identifying the Conservative political party, as well as growing up a member of the LDS Church in Colorado, I was constantly surrounded by people who disagreed with my views. I was actually quite thankful to have grown up in the environment I did, being privy to many different view points and beliefs. I have had countless discussions on faith and social issues with Baptists, Buddhists, Atheists, Catholics, homosexuals, the whole spectrum. While I have dear friends and know people who respect my beliefs, and I theirs, I have also encountered so many people who preach and preach and preach tolerance and acceptance, but tear me apart for being a Mormon. In fact, I was friends with a boy in high school who is gay, who constantly belittled and made fun of me for practicing the LDS faith. I couldn't possibly tell you the number of times he told me I wouldn't go to heaven because I disagree with the gay lifestyle. I never told him he was a bad person, I never told him he was going to hell, I simply expressed once that I didn't agree with his lifestyle choices--not only because he practiced homosexuality, but also because he slept around with many people--and I never brought it up again due to the horrid backlash I received from him. A few months ago he deleted my entire family from Facebook because he said he wouldn't associate with people who disagreed with his lifestyle. I hold no malice against him, because he can say and do whatever he wants. I have many friends that are homosexual and I love them, I think they are great people.

I also don't agree with having sex outside of marriage (which is another post entirely.) I don't agree with lying, stealing, murder, watching pornography, choosing not to get married and have children, being mean, abuse, the list goes on. Now, before you jump on me, I am the first to say that I'm not perfect. I know I make mistakes. But I also believe that the point of this life is to make mistakes, learn, and become better. I hope people understand and love and forgive me when I mess up, or even just that I'm a Mormon, just as I love those that I don't necessarily agree with how they live their life. That does NOT mean that I am judging anyone, and such an accusation is entirely ignorant. I love people, and this is not to say that I'm a saint or that the Right Wing is much more tolerant than the Left Wing. I think there is hypocrisy on both sides. All I'm saying, is that I have found it common in my experience for some Liberals to call for tolerance for everyone...except the religious. I have also seen many religious people to be intolerant of non-believers. I believe there are issues on both sides.

However, I digress. Let's focus solely on Phil's comments. The views he expressed are Biblical principals. That's no secret. He wasn't even saying that he thought the above mentioned would go to hell, he was paraphrasing Corinthians--he just thinks it's wrong. Which is his right as a human being. If you don't like those principals, you don't have to read the Bible, similarly if you don't like what Phil Roberston thinks, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH HIS SHOW. He's not in any position of authority--he's just some backwoods redneck who got his own reality tv show. The Constitution of the United States, the document upon which this country was founded on, proclaims the right to freedom of speech. Not "freedom to say whatever is politically correct." Frankly, I don't understand how same-sex marriage falls under "the pursuit of happiness," but proclaiming religious ideology doesn't qualify as free speech. In any case, I would be willing to bet that a great deal of those offended by his remarks don't even watch Duck Dynasty. So kudos to A&E for alienating your audience, who are the ones posting and supporting "FREE PHIL".

Corrupt is our society when the rights given to the people, by the people, for the people, are being threatened by the very same who demanded them. 

Monday, December 16, 2013

ferris bueller you're my herooo


If you are with a guy, you are talking, and he winks at you--he is definitely into you

If you are with a guy, and he is looking at your lips, he likes you. Or at least your luscious lips

If you are with a guy, and he gets crazy eyes when talking to you, he's excited to be around you.

These are some tips I learned from a very good friend of mine. Who will likely hate me for posting this, because he told me never to write about him, but since the damage is already done, I would like to further write about this friend.

To begin, I would like to share with you all a story.

Many moons ago, before all the cars I crashed, I was riding a bike...which I may or may not have also crashed several times. I already know all the "women driver" jokes, so you might as well save your breath. On one occasion, I was merrily riding my bike to work, when the tire went flat and disengaged from the wheel. Still quite a way from my place of employment, I sat myself down on the curb next to my bike, and tried to come up with a solution to this predicament. After calling my boss to inform him of my certain tardiness, I just kept sitting-calling friends, hoping anyone would be around. As I was about to accept defeat, a car pulls over and the driver asks if I need help. I thank him for his offer, but let him know that I need to do something with my bike and somehow need to get to work in a reasonable timely manner.

"Well, I actually have a bike rack on top of my car, and I work at a bike shop. So if you'd like, I'll take you to work and then I'll take your bike to my shop and bring it to you after you're done."

I felt like heaven just opened up and sent me an angel.

I graciously accepted his offer, informed him that he was my hero, and the rest is history. We went on dates, we hung out with my sisters, I was constantly at his house, and he became one of my best friends. Just this last summer we were talking in his apartment and we got to discussing this girl he likes. He talked about how wonderful she made him feel. He recounted the day we met, and he brought up when I told him he was my hero. Explaining some parts of his personal situation at the time, he said he was completely taken aback that a girl he barely met would think so highly of him, and at that point is when he decided he wanted I was someone he wanted to know. From my perspective, I'm just thinking, how could anyone not think this guy was amazing? He stops his day to fix the bike and take a girl to work that was a complete stranger. That day was just a foreshadowing of the kind of person this guy is. My older sister and I went on a double date with him and another guy to Salt Lake to hear my sister sing in her choir--after which he ended up paying for the 5 of us to eat pizza and dessert (why the other boy didn't pitch in, we still have no idea.) One night this summer he even stayed up til 3 in the morning, talking to me and playing songs on his guitar because I was upset over a boy.

This friend is now getting married, and I possibly cried from happiness the day I found out. I guess the point of this post is not only talk about how awesome this friend of mine is, but to tell you that sometimes you don't know what a small act of charity or a kind word can mean. You never know how the things you do or say will affect another person, "so be gentle, regarding human frailty." I will never stop caring about the boy that fixed my bike, just because it was broken--expecting nothing in return. I know there are some really wonderful people in this world, and I only hope that I will be able to extend the same courtesy and touch someone in the way I was blessed to experience.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

great date! high five


Do you keep asking yourself why you are spending yet another weekend home, with your only company being Ben and Jerry?

Have you found members of the opposite sex won't take you seriously as a viable dating option?

Was your last kiss from your mother?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then I present one more--do you high five? Because if you do, therein lies the cause of all your woes. (Unless perhaps you are just ugly?)

Keep in mind, when you raise your hand for that high five, you instantly earn yourself a one way ticket to the friend-zone. You do not pass go, do not collect $100 dollars.

Even guys after sport games slap each other on the butt. Not that I'm saying we should all slap each other on the behind....then again, maybe I am....

Think about it--if you're ending a date, and you go in for the kiss, and she raises her hand for a high five? She basically just kicked your manhood.

All around, high fives just tend to make me feel weird, so I usually, always deny them. It's just a gesture that needs to die out in this society, unless you are encouraging small children. Especially when they lead to Ryan Seacrest trying to high five a blind guy:


Monday, December 2, 2013

pikachu, I choose you!


Every Thursday I take a class about Dating and Eternal Marriage. I love it more than anything. Recently  we had a discussion about not pointing out the flaws of those whom you are dating. Now some of you are undoubtedly thinking "well duh, that's rude." With you I agree wholeheartedly. However I have some perspective to share with those who don't find this so blatantly obvious.

Earlier this year I had a boyfriend. It was quite a momentous occasion because for 21 years of my life, my general thought on the subject is ew, boyfriend. Too much commitment. Because I'm really mature. But I digress. So I meet this boy, and he is so cute, funny, he loves the gospel, he is close to his family, he served a mission, he was so so sweet, and his muscles are huge (because I'm a little shallow, but he was such a babe). Really, these are all qualities I look for. In fact, besides the muscles thing(maybe?), the above list are all necessary attributes for me to even date a boy. I don't judge you for your lists. So of course when he asked to be my boyfriend I said yes. Alright, maybe I hesitated for like a week or something, but still, eventually I said yes. Things seemed to go pretty well, I met his mom and his grandma, I visited him after he got his eye surgery, and he was so nice to me.

Then we had a talk. A rather unpleasant talk that I share just for the sake of this post. In this conversation, he told me all of my faults, as he perceived them to be. If any of you know me, you can imagine how brilliantly that went over. I took it super well.

So we kind of broke up. After which time, we had another talk, which was hard because you know how I looove talking about feelings. In this time, he pointed out how in a relationship, both people should be growing and improving, (which I completely agree with) but that the way to go about it is to tell your partner what you don't like about them so it gives them a chance to change. This I very much don't agree with.

Luke 6:41-42 says:

 "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye."

In my last class, we went over this scripture, and talked about how, until you are perfect, you should not be pointing out the faults of others, particularly someone with whom you are in a relationship. Although my ex-boyfriend's intentions were good, he was misguided. In my own opinion, if your partner does things that bother you enough to point them out, you probably shouldn't be dating that person. Let me say that I write this not to be completely hypocritical, but to illustrate the negative effects of nit-picking people, rather than building them up.

The bottom line is, people will only change when they want to change. There is nothing you, nor I, nor anyone else can do or say that will make another person be different if they don't want to be. I don't care to go into great detail, but one of said "faults" I possessed would be that I do and say outlandish things to get a rise out of people. Like 98% of the time, I'm trying to get a reaction, because it's usually really funny, and highly immature. It's cool. I own that. I don't live my life to impress other people, and I am not concerned with what other people think. I care for people and I love, but people are going to think what they think, and that's ok. But getting back on track a bit, I am well aware of my own flaws. I know which areas of my life I need to work on, so someone telling me I need to change something about myself, whether it's something I'm already trying to better, or something I love about myself, I've already got it covered. 

People just need to love people for the imperfect beings that they are. I've dated a few boys, and I have loved one. I once dated a guy that told me no one would ever want to marry me if I never went to school...and he said I wasn't funny. Probably some of the rudest things I've ever been told in my life. We also didn't last. I mean, I know this is cliche, but hasn't anyone ever heard the saying: "love isn't about finding the perfect person, but about seeing an imperfect person, perfectly"?

President Thomas S. Monson counseled "choose your love, and love your choice." I mean, isn't it fair to love someone despite annoying quirks, if you expect the same? In that talk with my ex-boyfriend about changing someone for the better, he presented me with a scenario. He described a couple being married for 10 years, and every day for those 10 years, the wife does the dishes. All of them, all day. He expressed that he thinks it would be appropriate for the wife to ask the husband to take a turn. I countered with the thought that, were I the wife, I would gladly take care of the household duties whilst my husband works to provide a house, and because I would love him and support him, as long as he used dishes, I would wash them. I come from a house that runs similarly. The only difference is, that my dad will take over and do dishes when he is home, because he loves my mom. Not because she has ever asked or expected him to do so. I have witnessed the two of them often try to coax the other to sit while they did the dishes and cleaned on several occasions. Isn't that what relationships are about? Serving and doing everything in your power to make the other person happy? Besides, negative degradation has greater destructive power than positive affirmation has to promote. So wouldn't we all do better to focus on the good, rather than the bad?

True love inspires changing for the better, not demands it.