Tuesday, December 10, 2013

great date! high five


Do you keep asking yourself why you are spending yet another weekend home, with your only company being Ben and Jerry?

Have you found members of the opposite sex won't take you seriously as a viable dating option?

Was your last kiss from your mother?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then I present one more--do you high five? Because if you do, therein lies the cause of all your woes. (Unless perhaps you are just ugly?)

Keep in mind, when you raise your hand for that high five, you instantly earn yourself a one way ticket to the friend-zone. You do not pass go, do not collect $100 dollars.

Even guys after sport games slap each other on the butt. Not that I'm saying we should all slap each other on the behind....then again, maybe I am....

Think about it--if you're ending a date, and you go in for the kiss, and she raises her hand for a high five? She basically just kicked your manhood.

All around, high fives just tend to make me feel weird, so I usually, always deny them. It's just a gesture that needs to die out in this society, unless you are encouraging small children. Especially when they lead to Ryan Seacrest trying to high five a blind guy: http://youtu.be/ahnuHhd60Yg?t=4s


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