50 first dates

LESSON 20: FIRST DATE

First dates. Often slightly awkward, in a magical, new beginnings kind of way. Everything is exciting, unfamiliar, frightening...or at least, they should be. I've been on some really incredible first dates. I've gone to dinner at Sundance Resort, gone skydiving, adventured, seen the lights at Thanksgiving Point, laser tagging, tons of activities. From extravagant to incredibly simple--I have had so much fun. I love the possibilities first dates present. So, what are the top qualities that make for really great first dates?

First, planned. I love when guys call me and ask what I like to do and make plans accordingly. I told someone once that I loved adventures, so for our date he took me to the mountains to find a "pirate ship," that he swore he'd seen before that can only be found in the moonlight. He brought cookies and blankets and we searched for a while and ended up finding a park where we swung on the swings and talked, and I had so much fun. One of my favorite dates of all time.

Second, don't sweat paying a ton of money. Like any other girl, I think it's really nice going to an expensive place and being treated like a princess. I've gone on dates like that that were great and turned out well, but depending on the guy/girl, it can sometimes put pressure on the girl to know he just spent so much money on her, a total stranger. Not always, of course, but I have been out with guys who think that taking me somewhere nice and spending so much money entitles them to some goodnight lovin'. Which doesn't ever work out in their favor.

Third, keep it short. I personally feel 7/10 first dates are too long. Occasionally both of you click so well that you can just keep going for hours and hours, but generally it's not a good idea. I have been out with guys that initially I was interested in, but after a 7 hour date, you couldn't pay me to go out with them again...Not only do you not want to get sick of each other, but if you end the date with both of you wanting it to extend just a little longer, doesn't that just give you more fire for seeing each other again?

Fourth, and most importantly, get to know each other. I've mentioned this before, but it's so crucial to having that incredible first date. How often have you been on a date that you thought felt more like an interview than two people talking, having a good time together? Why does she ask so many questions? Because we are trying to connect, and talking is the easiest way to do so. Women ask all those questions because we genuinely want to know more about you and your life--and sometimes, many of those questions are ones we'd like to be asked. Women aren't generally as upfront as men, and we like to be asked about our lives, rather than just state facts that we aren't sure you want to hear. It's part of our mystique. Plus, the questions most women ask are points that hold value to them, so they want you to know such information about themselves and feel like you care. However, women, if you've asked a question and he has answered, but not asked you a question in return, interject an anecdote from your own life on the subject. It'll presumably help the flow of the conversation. And men, just some food for thought: when you ask questions and show genuine interest in what your woman has to say, she feels cared about and will feel more inclined to go out again.