Tuesday, April 16, 2013

who wants a little TLC?--tinder loving care


I know I just posted about texting, but bare with me. I was chatting with my roommates a while ago, as per ush, and as women always do, we got to talking about guys and dating and such, when one of my roommates presented the idea "because people can text, they feel no need to date." I've been thinking a lot about that, and sadly, I think she's spot on.

Back in the day, if someone wanted to talk to another person, they would go see them. For all the perks today's technological advances have provided, I vehemently feel it's also the cause of a lot of lost personal contact. If I want to see how someone's day was, I just have to shoot them a text. I don't even have to leave the comfort of my own bed. And what is dating? It's getting to talk to and know people, seeing if you are compatible and if you like each other. Although I am guilty of having done this from time to time, I hate hate hate when you meet someone new, there's this spark and undeniable chemistry between you, and then you start texting, and the texts are all "what's your ambition in life, who is your role model, what's your favorite color" etc, etc. Blah. See, there is nothing wrong with these questions, but why wouldn't you want to ask them in person? I understand that because of different circumstances and distance, it's not always possible to see someone face to face every time you want to talk to them, but isn't that where the majority of your interaction should be? I like texting as much as the next girl, and I think it's a nice idea that you see someone's number pop up on your phone because they were thinking about you and wanted to say hello, but how much more romantic would it be if they just showed up in person? I just find it very impersonal to have "get to know you" conversations when you first meet someone. Once you guys know each other well enough or you want to set up a time to drop by or whatever, then it's no big deal--I just personally agree that texting has taken over what dates should be for.

Now, in relation, it's time to write about that online dating tool that has become increasingly popular among many of this generation--Tinder. There is no profile to fill out, so there's no sense of emotional or mental compatibility, it's all based on looks, (and a friend of mine mentioned that he tends to swipe girls that have mutual friends in common.) If you're attractive, you get a right swipe, plain and simple....regardless of whether or not you're even real.

Wednesday night, BYU students Bowman Bagley, and roommates Danny Gessel and Joshua Valdez conducted a little experiment. They created a fake profile for a girl they called Sammy, with a pretty face, and ended up grabbing the attention of hundreds of guys, from 19-30, being "matched" with about 250 men. The only exchange between this alleged beauty and these victims was "I’m going to yogurt shop called yogurtland tonight at 9 in orem with some girl friends if you want to meet up ;)". Then the pranskters went to Yogurtland to watch their social experiment unfold:
(photo credit: Bowman Bagely)
About six dozen men arrived to meet this fictitious woman. “The whole place, just groups of guys after groups of guys showing up in to this little yogurt place on a Thursday night to meet this girl that no one’s ever heard of, has no friends on Facebook or anything,” he said. “People were sitting there on their cars outside the shop watching with their friends to see if this girl would ever show up. A group would leave and a new wave of people would walk in, look at every single girl in the shop and stand against the wall 15 minutes by themselves waiting for this one fake person.”--Bagely told Huffington Post. Now, if you were to go into any given hot tub at any given time in Provo, Utah, you would almost certainly find it completely full of dudes, with maybe one or two girls. And even for someone who has said myself that usually 12 guys try and pick up one girl, I'm impressed. This was brilliant, and my only regret is that I didn't think of it first.
So the moral of this post? Meet people organically, and get to know them authentically, genuinely. Technology and social media has so desensitized people, from the kids I teach that are 13, to adults I know at 30, that nearly 70 men will congregate at a yogurt shop to see a pretty girl that messaged them on an app. That blows my mind. Get out and meet people, then see them face to face. Have real life, personal conversations and connections. I would absolutely prefer sitting, talking with a guy that points out over the course of a conversation that I have a crooked smile that he thinks is endearing or whatever (this is me not putting you in my blog,while indirectly still putting you in my blog) than have some stranger like some "perfect" picture I had put up, essentially as an advertisement. If you're going to sit on your phone and swipe faces instead of going out and being personable, then I'm sorry, but you deserve to have this prank pulled on you--because it was super funny. Just my thoughts.

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