sleepless in austin

LESSON 28: YOU'VE GOT OPTIONS

WARNING: THE CONTENTS OF THIS BLOG MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 16 

RATED M FOR MATURE

AND H FOR HILARIOUS

BUT MOSTLY W FOR "WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU STUMBLE ACROSS SOMETHING LIKE THIS??"


Guys, I want you to meet Romeo Rose. I think I love him. Also, I really want him to be as famous as possible, because his dating website is literally the best thing I've ever seen. Originally he was offering a finder's fee for anyone who could find him his perfect woman ($1,500 if she becomes his girlfriend, plus an added $1,000 bonus if they got married. Can you say score?) but apparently his phone has been "ringing off the hook" as of 10/07. Hello, duh. Who wouldn't call him?

Please please please browse his page for yourself, but I would like to highlight some of my favorite qualifications for his wifey:

"I want the girl to be attractive

I like girls that are thin, or with a toned or athletic build. A average build is fine too, just as long as you are not overweight. I will not date a over weight or fat girl

I like girls that are 130 pounds or less. Of course weight needs to be in proportion to height, as long as they aren't considered overweight, they should be fine.

Being overweight is a total deal breaker for me

I will not date a Black girl. I don't care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl

However, I will date any other race, Hispanic, Mexican, Spanish, Russian, Italian, French, European, White, whatever, anything except Black

I do not like glasses on a girl. Although, it’s not a dealbreaker, as long as she can wear contacts at least most of the time.

I will not date any girl that has ever had a threesome, or a large number of past sexual partners. I do not want a promiscuous slut, I want a normal, decent, good hearted girlfriend.

I will not date any girl if she is still friends with any men that she has been intimate with in the past, I believe once a relationship with someone is over, it’s OVER.

I prefer a woman that has never had children.

Now I’m not saying having had a kid or two is a for sure dealbreaker for me, but it’s a case by case basis, and I prefer a woman that’s never had kids if possible. My ex-girlfriend that I was with for Eleven years never had kids, she couldn’t because of a hysterectomy at a young age.

I also have a very high sex drive."

Nice.

Please keep in mind these aren't even all the things on his list. I do give him credit for knowing exactly what he wants and putting himself out there. Kudos to you, man. Don't think I haven't thought of giving him the old ring-a-ding-ding, I do live in Texas now, after all.

This website is just such a gem. I'm in love with it.

And some of you may speculate about whether or not it's real, but I'm a glass half full kind of girl, so I choose to believe it is.

For the record, I found this website on AskMen.com. They said it was the worst thing you could possibly resort to. But what do they know, really? I wonder if they've heard of Tinder...


...yes, I like to read articles on AskMen. Whatever.

http://www.sleeplessinaustin.com/about-the-girl-i-want-to-fall-in-love-with/


I mean, you're welcome.