Monday, March 10, 2014

fat bottomed girls you make the rockin world go round




It seems that as of late, in spite of a society convinced that beauty is a size zero, with long thin legs, perfect hair, etc., there are a great many articles popping up about "big girls are beautiful too."

Recently I was reading one that talked about how being overweight was a sign of living, and those who spend their time being skinny don't have real happiness and don't really experience life.

Something to that affect.

To which I respond most eloquently--are you Africa? Because, Kenya not?



Social standing declares that being thin is beautiful, but more personal social networks proclaim that being thin is something to be frowned upon. I have read so many articles victimizing the overweight, and romanticizing that they are what is truly beautiful.

I am not arguing that women and men of other sizes are not beautiful, but listen, a girl that is thin is equally as beautiful. Victoria's secret models, while yes, are most likely all engineered to be sexy, are still incredibly beautiful women.

In a society so eager to preach equality and tolerance, there is certainly a great deal of one-sidedness.

I don't by any means claim to have the body of a Victoria's Secret model. However, I am a size 2, and
I love working out and running and being active.

I've been building a modeling portfolio. I like the way I look. I don't mean that in a conceited way, just in a confident, "I feel good," kind of way.

And you know what? I eat pizza. All. The. Time. I also love oreos, quesedillas, tacos, (Mexican food in general.) I eat multiple Serious Texas Tacos (which for my Durangotangs, you know what a feat that is,) and I can eat more than one Beto's burrito at a time.

So yeah, I experience the same foods as anyone else. More than many, actually. I also eat bowls of spinach or granola and (try to) drink enough water and I run all the time because I know its important to keep my body healthy.

It's just as much of a genetic condition that I eat like 7 men, and weigh 117 lbs, as it is for those who can't seem to lose weight.

All while I was growing up, I was constantly prodded by the other kids-"are you anorexic? Why don't you ever eat? If I touch you, you'll probably just break in half. Do you know there's no difference between your back and your chest? Don't let the wind blow you away!"

In middle school, a group of boys nicknamed me toothpick and never called me anything else for 3 years. I had the equation memorized that if you punched it into the old-school calculators and turned it upside down, it spelled "BOOBLESS." Yes, looking back now I can attest that the mental capacity of middle schoolers is truly astounding, but as an insecure 10+ year old, it was humiliating.

Let's talk about body image.

How often have we all heard the argument that Barbie gives girls unrealistic ideas about what our bodies should look like? I came across this ambiguous article today about "Average Lammily."

I want to express first and foremost that I unequivocally don't distinguish one "universal size."

People of all different shapes and sizes have a beauty that is their own. With that being said, yes, when I was a twerp, I thought Barbies were beautiful. I had like 150 thousand of them. Hands down, my favorite toy to play with for the first 7...9...ok, 14 years of my life.

Did I grow up with the notion that I had to look like my barbies to be desirable? Absolutely not. In fact, I only recently pursued modeling because my sister in law is a phenomenal photographer and has been taking pictures of me.

My brothers had the GI Joe/Max Steel/body builder type action figures. My whole family is genetically thin, so no, my brothers aren't huge guys. Do they look at themselves in the mirror while they hold those unrealistically muscular toys and question their entire existence? Not even a little bit. My brothers are pretty confident guys.

Some girls once thought my older brother was Ryan Gosling, (which is weird for me, because I think Ryan Gosling is the babiest babe that ever babed.) Maybe I haven't talked to enough women, but in all of my life, I have literally never heard a girl (even the most insecure ones) express that they wished they could look like their barbies.

I mean, I know a few feminists, and so far they personally haven't given that notion any real credibility.

So can't we just lay that one to rest?

Now I want to focus in on Hollywood. Hollywood is all about promoting a certain look. Anyone that knows anything about acting knows Megan Fox is literally the worst actor, but she is cast in movies because she's hot.

And let's all just be real for a moment--no matter what you look like, the general populace likes to watch pretty people.

Before you even try to argue with that, just take a look at Hollywood.

Whether or not you admit that you like to watch beautiful people in movies/tv shows, those actors, Victoria's Secret models, none of them are really hurting for money. Why? Because YOU pay to see them. You watch their shows on Netflix.

I mean, Rebel Wilson is fat, and she owns that. She is talented and I personally think she is a pretty girl, and she has done well for herself. I don't want to say Hollywood actors are only as successful as they are because they are handsome persons, because many of them are incredibly talented. I'm just saying, let's all stop pretending that we shun "perfect bodies," and that only the "average body type" is what we think is truly beautiful.

The fact of the matter is, people come in all shapes and sizes, and in more personal, local settings, to disregard someone because they are thin, and to fantasize that only those with more weight really experience life is just as ignorant and rude as the magazines telling you to have huge boobs and a tiny waist.

When you let society dictate what you should look like is when you'll face comparisons, put downs, and an inability to measure up.

Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. I once dated a guy that I thought was a total dreamboat. When we stopped seeing each other, several family members told me they thought he was butt-ugly. Different strokes for different folks, you know?

I agree, no one should be putting down girls that are larger than a double zero--but can we also stop saying that thin girls are "unhuman," "gross," or unable to live lives like anybody else?

I am a skinny girl, and I think articles proclaiming that skinny girls are "bad," are just as damaging as any fat shaming. Do we all realize that our vain notions of how we think others should look are largely attributed to girls developing eating disorders, among other psychological issues?

A person that is gorgeous is someone that smiles and is kind, who loves others and life.

Time after time, I have talked with guys about the girls they like/date. I cannot possibly count the number of times I heard of friends going out with a girl because he thinks she is the most beautiful woman to grace this earth, only to ditch her (although yes, sometimes after getting a little lip action in,) because she was rude or a vapid narcissist.

No matter who you are, your looks won't make up for your personality if you suck.

So maybe we should all stop focusing so much on what we should look like, and putting down other for what they look like, and try to be someone worthwhile.


my little 13 year old brother drew this and told me I was beautiful, and I love it the most


In any case, I think all of you are awesome, and I love that you read my blog. 
XOXO

PS. Here is an inspirational video about bullying:



38 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree with your thoughts. I think that we should be celebrating all body types, instead of glorifying one over the other. And the way to combat "thin-fever" is not by saying that all thin girls are horrible or living awful existences. That being said, there's definitely a societal expectation of beauty standards, such as being thin and toned. And many girls that don't fit into that toned and fit (both bigger girls and tiny girls that aren't toned) find themselves constantly wondering what's wrong with them. So while I do think you're right, I think we need to change and get rid of all western beauty standards in order for there to be no more of this nonsense. (sorry, I just wrote a paper on this)

oliviakaytalley said...

I agree with points of this. Honestly, I believe the only way to over come society is to stop letting it dictate our perception of what is beautiful. I think people need to decide on their own terms what makes them beautiful and magnify that. Society has been tell us what is desirable since the dawn of time. In the past, those who were overweight were who you wanted to marry because it signified wealth. Today, I am seeing articles, pictures, what have you about "the thigh gap." As a girl that sure, I admittedly pride myself a little on my genetics, I am thin, sure, but I'm also fairly curvy for my body type. The thigh gap trend is quite repulsive in my opinion, and is not something I would ever strive for. However, there are women that genetically look like that. More than anything everyone should stop trying to tell everyone else how they should look, and instead worry themselves about living a healthy lifestyle. Because no matter what you look like, if you aren't taking care of your body, you won't last that long anyways..

Anonymous said...

I don't think you can really say in all fairness that the surreal proportions of the barbie doll are not psychologically harmful to young girls. This is why (of course not the full reason) girls as young as 8 or 10 have body image problems or worry about their weights. This is now the norm. In any case, talk of the barbie doll in some feminist circles is really just a metonym in discussing the absurdly young age that girls are affected by negative images about the female body. Not just barbie, but ads, television shows, books, films, etc, all send these signals.

Anonymous said...

The issue of course is that the same shaming of girl's bodies can be presented under the guise of "healthy living" and exert the same self-confidence crushing effects.

Anonymous said...

Also, boys don't have a body image crisis when they play with GI joe because we live in a society that doesn't place so much of a male's value on his physical appearance. so yeah.

keisha said...

No offense, but I can see from your photos that you clearly benefit from most of the perks that come with being a conventionally attractive, thin white woman. So it seems a bit ridiculous to me that you are whining about how people oppress you for being these things. Of course everyone is beautiful, and no on should degrade anyone based on their body. But honey you're swimming in privilege.

oliviakaytalley said...

Healthy living isn't a guise. If you feel bad about your unhealthy body, whether you are too thin or too large, that is your body telling you to change something. The body is desgined to be taken care of so we can you know, live. So I dont understand this argument.

Anonymous said...

Plenty of people that society at large would classify as "overweight" are actually in a perfectly healthy range. Clinical obesity and aesthetic "obesity" are two entirely different things. I weigh 150 at 5'3, am a terrific rugby player, and I guarantee I'm healthier than many people. And hell, maybe I do have a gut, who cares.

Also, "healthy living" as a relatively recent social trend is pretty classist. Buying fresh vegetables and other characteristically healthy foods is more expensive (time and money-wise) than cheap processed food. Thus, someone's outward appearance could be a result of their economic status.

oliviakaytalley said...

So this comment is exactly what im talking about...

oliviakaytalley said...

I'm not sure what kind of facade you think healthy living is, but I'm 100% confident people have had the sense to know how to take care of their bodies since the dawn of time, so its not like it's a new concept. Healthy living doesn't necessarily mean you have to be skinny. It just means you are eating right and exercising, drinking water, getting enough sleep. And sure, if you are doing all those things, they can lead to a slimmer figure, but there are porportions that are healthier than others. And you have to take into account muscle mass and everything, of course. So its not necessarily accurate to say you have to weigh a certain amount. But as a broke college student, i know the struggles of having no money and wanting to eat healthy...and I'm saying it definitely is possible to eat healthy on a very minimal budget. However, none of the aforementioned are the point of this blog. I'm talking about everyone needing to stop judging each other for what we look like and start loving each other and being kind

oliviakaytalley said...

I think its absurd to claim that men don't have the same body image crisis as women. Have you seen Ryan Gosling? Luke Bryan? Brad Pitt? Let's not pretend that these men aren't idolized by women on the same level that men gawk over Megan Fox. And in any case, I am stating as a girl that got my first barbie when I was four and played with them consistently for the next ten years, I never aspired to look like them because I rooted my beauty in something different than soley shallow looks

Anonymous said...

They definitely don't. Men are valued for their ideas. Women are valued for their appearances. Why would they have a body image crisis if body image isn't central to how society perceives their worth as a person?

Anonymous said...

I don't think you know what it is to be poor. "Broke college student' is not what poor is.

keisha said...

No. I am not shaming you for your body. That's what the point of your post is. I am saying that you aren't qualified to discuss the oppression that happens to people because of their bodies because you fit the ideal standard quite well yourself. Your message is good, your deployment is bad.

keisha said...

"proportions that are healthier than others"

No. This is shaming, isn't that what your post is about? You don't know every proportion ever and every individual having those proportions ever, or their medical history.

oliviakaytalley said...

That's quite a presumptuous statement, seeing as how you have no idea what has happened in my life and what I have gone through to be where I am in my life now. But again, not the point of this article...

keisha said...

What? MY statement is presumptuous? All I said was you didn't know the living situation of everyone ever. I'm pretty sure that's a general statement that basically applied to anyone, hon. An example of a presumptuous statement is "some proportions are healthier than others'.

Anonymous said...

No. She was talking about being a broke college student

oliviakaytalley said...

I don't think that my body type exempts me from being degraded or having an opinion on the matter. In fact, I have been demeaned quite a lot in my life for my size. The message I'm trying to get across is that it doesn't actually matter what you look like, because no matter what, someone is going to take issue. So if we could all stop pointing fingers and judging each other, and just love people for who they are and help them feel beautiful no matter their outward appearance, the world would be a lot better off

oliviakaytalley said...

Do you think Channing Tatum got cast in The Vow because of his smarts or phenomenal ability to act? Not a chance. He was cast because he is hot

oliviakaytalley said...

Yes, I was previously referring to your comment about my financial life. Also, I'm just going to throw out there that actually doctors will tell you healthy proportions. So that's not presumptuous, that's real life.

Anonymous said...

Actual doctors live in actual society and are contaminated by actual shitty societal ideals like the ones we've been discussing.

Anonymous said...

Of course thats why. But that's not really what is being discussed. You can be a male actor and be fat and unconventionally attractive, there are enough to be common and influential. Fat and unconventionally attractive actresses are, few and far between, though there have been improvements of late. Because males will typically hired based on ability in this field (and others) while in women, attractiveness matters much more than in men.

Anonymous said...

Yes. Its true that all women's body types are degraded. Society pits women against each other, encourages this behavior. We should all support each other. However, you have to acknowledge that the fate of a fat person is much harder than your fate as a conventionally attractive thin person. You might have some men ask if you are anorexic. A fat person may be so discriminated against that they might not get a job, their liveihood might be endangered. Its just not on the same level.

oliviakaytalley said...

I can appreciate comments that disagree with my views, and in fact I welcome another view to the way I see things. However, bad language will not be tolerated on my blog, because it is my blog. So please refrain or your comments will be deleted.

oliviakaytalley said...

I understand where this is coming from. I understand that the world is often nicer to "prettier people." All I'm saying is that we get it from all sides. And yes, I would say you are right that its in varying degrees. I just want to open people's eyes and have them consider that no one is free from degradation. I just want us to all take a step back and maybe just consider getting to know someone and giving them a chance to be loved instead of judging them for the way they look. Thank you for your input. I really do appreciate thoughts and views outside of my own

Rebecca Talley said...

Why do people hide behind "anonymous"? Why don't you admit who you are and own up to your comments? I don't put much value in anonymous comments.

Let me, as Olivia's mother, put a spin on this. Olivia has always been skinny. She used to cry because kids were so mean to her about it. Kids used to tease her all the time about the way she looked. As her mom, it made me sad to see her hurt. Some boys were so mean to her all the time. Guess what? When she got older, those boys then wanted to date her. What was her answer? No way. Not after they'd been so mean and degrading.

Yes, she is thin and beautiful now. And that means her opinion and what she endured as a kid doesn't count? Because she's thin and attractive now she can't possibly understand being mistreated because of the way she looked. I think out of all my kids, she was probably the one that was picked on the most for her looks. And the point is, why did that happen? Why dos it still happen to girls and women today? Recently, there was a magazine spread of Christie Brinkley turning 60. She does not look like any 60-year-old women I know. So, even at this age, women are being told what "beautiful" is by the media. I agree with Olivia. We need to stop letting society dictate what is beautiful and what isn't. We need to stop judging each other (like deciding that Olivia doesn't know what it's like to be poor--that is so presumptuous). Celebrate people for who they are. Olivia is much more than how she looks. She is a beautiful person inside who loves people, serves them, thinks of others, and tries hard to do the right thing. She is so much more than the way she looks, as is everyone. We need to treat each other with kindness and respect. We also need to remember that everyone has their story and we don't know what that story is simply by looking at them.

And, by the way, I was not hired for a job some years ago because I was too "pretty." I was told to look elsewhere for a job. So, yes, discrimination happens both ways. And the point is, it shouldn't happen at all.

oliviakaytalley said...

I have the best mom of all the moms. Thanks for this. The problem is that so many people think discrimination is one sided. It simply never is. No matter what you do, what you look like, who you are, someone is going to find a reason to fault you. Which is a damning trait of humans. The need to reserve judgment and focus less on what society tells us to be, and more on finding confidence and conviction, passion and kindness within ourselves is so essential to defeating this societal complex to dictate our image.

Kenzie said...

Nobody has argued that discrimination does not go both ways. Of course it does. All that has been said is that conventionally unattractive women have it worse than either of you ever will. Luckily for Olivia, despite her being bullied as a child, she is now a ready and willing candidate for social interactions of all sorts. I'm sure that men and women alike love being around her. However, if she was still fat or conventionally unattractive, she would still face constant discrimination.

Discrimination should not happen at all. The way to change it is by changing societal attitudes. No amount of self-love or personal rejection of societal ideals can change the fact of how someone else sees you.

keisha said...

Didn't address the issue thought.

oliviakaytalley said...

That's the issue though. Soceity has been determining what is beautiful as far back as men and women have been attracted to each other. In Roman times, young male bodies of about 12 were determined the ideal body type. In the Renaissance, the heavy were deemed desireable because it was a sign of wealth. The fact of the matter is that society has ideals based on the times. What we can do about that is to decide to love ourselves and view others positively and do what we can to express to others why they are beautiful people, rather than point out why we think they aren't. Attraction is relative, so no one can really dictate what everyone thinks is beautiful. At least not outwardly. What we can do is encourage each other to focus on serving other and seeing their hearts. While not everyone may think Mother Teresa looked like a model, I'm pretty confident the world recognizes her as a beautiful person

oliviakaytalley said...

Well if you want my personal opinion on the above comment, I think stating that a doctor's recommendation for a person's health is determined by "societal ideals" is the most ignorant statement I have ever read. I'm sorry, I just find it hard to believe that doctors spend anywhere from 4-12 plus years studying what society thinks healthy and pretty people need to be healthy. I mean, I am not a doctor, but those I know that have or are currently studying medicine actually study human anatomy and like facts as to how the body works and how it can be best taken care of according to facts and reality

keisha said...

Of course a doctor's recommendation for a person's health is determined by societal ideals. Doctors live in society and are not somehow immune to it or unbiased just because they go through a lot of schooling. The medical profession and "medical facts" as we know them are corrupted by societal constructions of attractiveness among many, many other things. Did you know that many, many doctors are in contracts with pharmaceutical companies to prescribe X amount of drug Y during Z amount of time? Just like any other business, the medical industry is in it to make money. This means that if they can profit off of some societal construction, they will. If they can make you feel like your body is inadequate in terms of attractiveness, they will offer a medical justification of it to profit from it.

When my girlfriend was fifteen, she still went to a pediatrician for check ups because she was more comfortable there. Once, during a routine physical her doctor commented on her weight, saying that if she just lost 15 or 20 pounds she'd be "more comfortable if she were thinner" and that she was "technically overweight" (based on the BMI system, which is garbage that does not take into account anyone's body type at all). Now, this girl has got a booty and her hips don't lie, but she's not in any unhealthy range. She ate well, was active and happy. But this doctor was quick to tell her that her body wasn't good enough, a pediatrician shamed a child's body. Guess why? The medical profession exists in society, and maybe she doesn't fit exactly the standard of attractiveness of our society. My younger sisters have all had similar experiences during their adolescences, all of them are in normal, average weight ranges.

In conclusion, your statement that health professionals' opinions are "facts" outside of sexist or otherwise crappy societal ideals is actually one of the most ignorant statements I've ever read.

keisha said...

Self love is very important. But I feel like you are against the idea of trying to change society from the ground up, or at least try to change attitudes through things like activism. Self love would be an important part of such a campaign. But again, you seem very against the idea. Is that because you benefit from the existing standards of attractiveness? Have you ever thought about it?

oliviakaytalley said...

I don't know who this is directed at, but I don't think anyone just preached anything against self love.

keisha said...

Sorry, perhaps I wasn't clear. You discuss the importance of self-love, and this is great. Self love is very important. However, you seem hesitant to suggest that changing the reception of societal ideals by individuals, that is, making people aware of arbitrary societal ideals and enabling them to act against them (using tools like activism, awareness, etc), would be the real solution to the problems you discuss. In other words, teaching people self love, though very important, is a band aid on the real problem, the crappy societal standards of attractiveness. We should treat the root of the problem as well as its symptoms, and making people aware of the fact that societal standards of attractiveness are constructs through activism would be the way to do this.

However, you seem to not much like the idea of doing what I have suggested. I was wondering why that was.

keisha said...

You don't have to respond but it would be good.

oliviakaytalley said...

I just disagree that teaching people self love is a band aid over the overlying problem. In fact, I think the way to change societal views is to change individual hearts. Societal ideals thrive because society feeds them. Take pornography, for example. Porn is so far reaching right now because sex sells. Were individuals to stop buying it, the business would die. So. following that train of thought, if we as individuals learned and taught loving ourselves and each other for who we are and what we look like, feeling good being healthy, and not putting others down, then the social pressures to look a certain way would theoretically dissolve. That's my thought

Post a Comment