LESSON 9: DATING ETIQUETTE PART 2
HOW TO APPROPRIATELY ASK FOR A DATE
Let's start with a little scenario:
* Randolph texts Gracie Lou*
Randolph: hey what up?
Gracie Lou: Hey! How are you?
Randolph: good. so i was thinking we go out tomorrow night. you down?
Gracie Lou: ...
Now, first let me start off by giving Randolph props for asking Gracie Lou out in the first place. For some reason that seems to be a fleeting tradition in this day and age. However, I'm a girl that believes in chivalry and doing things the old fashioned way. I have had many people disagree with my thinking, and to them I say, stop reading my blog. It's all old fashioned baby. Also, those loudest advocates against my thought process are some friends whom are fast approaching their 30's..and still single. I asked them the last time they asked a girl on a date, my favorite answer was 2 years ago. Stay strong friends. You're going places.
So where was it that Randolph went wrong? Why didn't Gracie Lou graciously, eagerly accept his offer? Well, here are his main fault points--there are 2.
First, he texted her to ask her on a date. A little bit of me dies inside every time this happens. Personally, I will always (mostly) say no. Men, be men. Ask her out face to face or at the very least call her on the phone. Are you so afraid of rejection? The reality: either she wants to go out with you, or she doesn't. Whether you call or text her, if she doesn't like you, she'll say no. (As long as she's got some class and already gave you a fair shot.) However, if she does want to go out with you, if you text her rather than call/face her, she's wayyyy less likely to say yes. Texting leaves room for ambiguity and confusion. In a text (and albeit, a call (although, a call has at least voice inflections/tone of voice and possible hesitations?)) you can't read body language, which is so often a huge indicator. Texts are bland, casual, and impersonal. Who wants to be asked out like that?
Second, he barely gave her any notice. Gentlemen should always give at least three days notice. Ladies, don't accept any less. (Five to six days is most preferred. Girls need lots of prep...psychologically, physically...whatever. Haha. Just kidding. Kind of. Plus guys, this gives you ample time to prepare a super fabulous activity for y'all to enjoy. Right? Right.) Usually, such short notice means a. someone else cancelled; b. he's lazy and didn't want to plan that far in the future; or c. he thinks you're going to be free. All are silly notions that you don't want or deserve, (even if you are free. He doesn't have to know that. You're a hot commodity, dang it woman!)
Also, a big pointer, don't ever ask for or accept dates over facebook. I mean, honestly.
A good friend of mine, who also happens to be super fun and studly and a total babe, told me once that when he asks out a girl, he calls her up and gives her no less than a week, sometimes two, notice for a date. He then plans out these absolutely fantastic dates like food fights and pic nics and other cute, fun activities that allows him to see what kind of energy she has (which has to be tons and tons to match his own) but also that allows them to be able to talk and get to know each other. Which is why he's off the market and dating a super awesome girl right now. Those two. Obviously he's doing something right.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
My Fellow Americans...
There is no doubt a division in this country tonight. Democrats elated at their victory, Republicans distraught over their loss. Both sides slinging mud and disparaging comments. And while I am on the "losing" end of this election, I hoped and prayed and voted for Romney to win this run, I am forced to face the reality that: Obama is once again our president. Now it's time to move forward. So, here's a list of the top ten reasons to hold on to hope, to unite as a country, and not to move to Canada.
1. No matter how bad things get here, Canada is always worse. 'Merica! Eh?
2. Resilience. How many wars have we fought? We claimed our freedom from the Brits, we ended slavery, and we came back flourishing after the Great Depression. This is a great country. We were the victims of terrorist attacks--an event that the hearts of the American people will not forget; an event that I personally feel brought this nation closer together than any tragedy or devastation or even victory since the Depression. We fought back. I know we can make it through the next 4 years
3. It is Better to Look Up. I implore you to read this talk. I have nothing more to add.
4. United We Stand, Divided We Fall. Truer words cannot be spoken. So let's come together as a country, as a people, as a nation, and pick up the pieces and stand together to strengthen these United States. The Founding Fathers established a land worth fighting for. "One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." So let's stand together.
5. You must be the change you want to see in the world. I don't believe in being a victim of circumstance. This country was established by the people, for the people. Don't sit idly by on your disinterested/unattached butts and complain that the economy, government, whatever is not what you want. If you feel strongly, do something. If you aren't making an effort to better your life, your country, your world, you aren't passionate enough. And if you aren't living passionately, you aren't really living.
6. This is what the leaders of the LDS Church have to say on the matter:
The First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued the following statement today:
"We congratulate President Obama on winning a second term as President of the United States.
After a long campaign, this is now a time for Americans to come together. It is a long tradition among Latter-day Saints to pray for our national leaders in our personal prayers and in our congregations. We invite Americans everywhere, whatever their political persuasion, to pray for the President, for his administration and the new Congress as they lead us through difficult and turbulent times. May our national leaders reflect the best in wisdom and judgment as they fulfill the great trust afforded to them by the American people.
We also commend Governor Romney for engaging at the highest level of our democratic process which, by its nature, demands so much of those who offer themselves for public service. We wish him and his family every success in their future endeavors."
See the statement on MormonNewsroom.org: http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/statement-on-election-result
9. A friend of mine (whom has a remarkable resemblance to Bradly Cooper. Babe.) had this status, and it's definitely some food for thought:
1. No matter how bad things get here, Canada is always worse. 'Merica! Eh?
2. Resilience. How many wars have we fought? We claimed our freedom from the Brits, we ended slavery, and we came back flourishing after the Great Depression. This is a great country. We were the victims of terrorist attacks--an event that the hearts of the American people will not forget; an event that I personally feel brought this nation closer together than any tragedy or devastation or even victory since the Depression. We fought back. I know we can make it through the next 4 years
3. It is Better to Look Up. I implore you to read this talk. I have nothing more to add.
4. United We Stand, Divided We Fall. Truer words cannot be spoken. So let's come together as a country, as a people, as a nation, and pick up the pieces and stand together to strengthen these United States. The Founding Fathers established a land worth fighting for. "One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." So let's stand together.
5. You must be the change you want to see in the world. I don't believe in being a victim of circumstance. This country was established by the people, for the people. Don't sit idly by on your disinterested/unattached butts and complain that the economy, government, whatever is not what you want. If you feel strongly, do something. If you aren't making an effort to better your life, your country, your world, you aren't passionate enough. And if you aren't living passionately, you aren't really living.
6. This is what the leaders of the LDS Church have to say on the matter:
The First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued the following statement today:
"We congratulate President Obama on winning a second term as President of the United States.
After a long campaign, this is now a time for Americans to come together. It is a long tradition among Latter-day Saints to pray for our national leaders in our personal prayers and in our congregations. We invite Americans everywhere, whatever their political persuasion, to pray for the President, for his administration and the new Congress as they lead us through difficult and turbulent times. May our national leaders reflect the best in wisdom and judgment as they fulfill the great trust afforded to them by the American people.
We also commend Governor Romney for engaging at the highest level of our democratic process which, by its nature, demands so much of those who offer themselves for public service. We wish him and his family every success in their future endeavors."
See the statement on MormonNewsroom.org: http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/statement-on-election-result
And who are you to argue?
7. The true and living prophet President Thomas S Monson. He leads and guides us not only in this country, but to the far reaches of the earth. Put your faith and trust in him, because he is the Lord's mouthpiece, and he will not lead you astray.
8. Republicans maintain the majority in the House, so at least there is some balance.
7. The true and living prophet President Thomas S Monson. He leads and guides us not only in this country, but to the far reaches of the earth. Put your faith and trust in him, because he is the Lord's mouthpiece, and he will not lead you astray.
8. Republicans maintain the majority in the House, so at least there is some balance.
9. A friend of mine (whom has a remarkable resemblance to Bradly Cooper. Babe.) had this status, and it's definitely some food for thought:
"A little rebellion now and then is a good thing and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical."
THOMAS JEFFERSON, letter to James Madison, Jan. 30, 1787
THOMAS JEFFERSON, letter to James Madison, Jan. 30, 1787
10. Obama=Batman. Nuff said.
Monday, November 5, 2012
and it starts, sometime around midnight
LESSON 8: THE HEAT OF ANTICIPATION
Alright, to be frank, this one isn't so much of a lesson. But it's something I've been thinking a lot about recently. So bear with me.
A few weeks ago (probably longer, sometimes my memory is bad) I was talking with a good friend of mine. This is a friend that loves country music, (which tends to be rare in Utah) that even took me to a country concert to see Sugarland..(which was awesome, (and my comment was taken wayyyyy out of context! I loved everything--the concert, the "couple," the drunk girl, the rain, and our seats. REALLY)) and as we were talking, he told me he wished his life could be like the country song "Back to December." ME TOO! All the country songs. Because I'm a sap. But his was about wishing a former love could realize how great he was to her (which is totally legit and not conceited and I wish I could tell you how he's completely justified, but I don't know how he'll feel about me talking about him in this blog...let alone the really personal things he's done.)
Then, a few days ago, I was talking with another friend on our way back from Salt Lake, and he said how he wished his life could be like a country song! (Why are all my friends so attractive? #agirlcan'tgetthetimeofday) But, in a slightly more shallow sense, this song, which I agreed I wished my life could be like, is called Kissed You (Good Night). Now, it's not necessarily about the lyrics, but the concept. Over the course of my dating life, I have kissed my share of boys (by that I mean, I haven't kissed any boys. Ever. Daddy, I'm still your little girl) and have also had my share of failed attempts. And for the purposes of this post, I did go back and count, and I have denied about 17 (?) boys. I may have missed a couple no-namers, but you get the gist. (side note, the number of boys I have denied exceeds the number I have kissed. Now stop guessing. Because it's zero.) WHAT THE HECK?! This is not about self infatuation, but if anything, about deprecation. Not cool guys. And these are not stemmed from misread signals (mostly) but from going on a date (sometimes) and sitting, talking, with a good feet between us, and he suddenly pounces! I'm like, "woah homeboy, back up!"
So, I guess there is a lesson here: DON'T NINJA KISS!
And even with boys I did kiss back, some of them were really great, but many of them lacked ...passion? for lack of a better word. Obviously I was attracted to the boys I kissed, and I wanted to kiss them, and one time a boy I was seeing kissed me in the rain (super cute) and kissing is great, (bad. don't kiss people.) but whenever I'm dating a boy, the kiss always comes at the same time. We'll go on a couple dates, we'll like each other, be gazing deeply into each other's eyes, slowly moving closer, making the triangle (eyes lips eyes, eyes lips eyes) and then, boom! Fireworks! Its all great, it's what's expected...but sometimes I just wish...he wouldn't kiss me. When the chemistry is explosive, when the moment is perfect, the temptation is there, I wish he wouldn't do it. Think of the tension, how sweet that long waited kiss will be! I don't know, maybe I'm a nut. But sometimes, I just want to wonder--are you gonna kiss me or not?
PS. the title of this blog had nothing to do with the post, but I was recently introduced to the band "The Airborne Toxic Event," and they are fantastic. I'm slightly obsessed. Sometime Around Midnight
Alright, to be frank, this one isn't so much of a lesson. But it's something I've been thinking a lot about recently. So bear with me.
A few weeks ago (probably longer, sometimes my memory is bad) I was talking with a good friend of mine. This is a friend that loves country music, (which tends to be rare in Utah) that even took me to a country concert to see Sugarland..(which was awesome, (and my comment was taken wayyyyy out of context! I loved everything--the concert, the "couple," the drunk girl, the rain, and our seats. REALLY)) and as we were talking, he told me he wished his life could be like the country song "Back to December." ME TOO! All the country songs. Because I'm a sap. But his was about wishing a former love could realize how great he was to her (which is totally legit and not conceited and I wish I could tell you how he's completely justified, but I don't know how he'll feel about me talking about him in this blog...let alone the really personal things he's done.)
Then, a few days ago, I was talking with another friend on our way back from Salt Lake, and he said how he wished his life could be like a country song! (Why are all my friends so attractive? #agirlcan'tgetthetimeofday) But, in a slightly more shallow sense, this song, which I agreed I wished my life could be like, is called Kissed You (Good Night). Now, it's not necessarily about the lyrics, but the concept. Over the course of my dating life, I have kissed my share of boys (by that I mean, I haven't kissed any boys. Ever. Daddy, I'm still your little girl) and have also had my share of failed attempts. And for the purposes of this post, I did go back and count, and I have denied about 17 (?) boys. I may have missed a couple no-namers, but you get the gist. (side note, the number of boys I have denied exceeds the number I have kissed. Now stop guessing. Because it's zero.) WHAT THE HECK?! This is not about self infatuation, but if anything, about deprecation. Not cool guys. And these are not stemmed from misread signals (mostly) but from going on a date (sometimes) and sitting, talking, with a good feet between us, and he suddenly pounces! I'm like, "woah homeboy, back up!"
So, I guess there is a lesson here: DON'T NINJA KISS!
And even with boys I did kiss back, some of them were really great, but many of them lacked ...passion? for lack of a better word. Obviously I was attracted to the boys I kissed, and I wanted to kiss them, and one time a boy I was seeing kissed me in the rain (super cute) and kissing is great, (bad. don't kiss people.) but whenever I'm dating a boy, the kiss always comes at the same time. We'll go on a couple dates, we'll like each other, be gazing deeply into each other's eyes, slowly moving closer, making the triangle (eyes lips eyes, eyes lips eyes) and then, boom! Fireworks! Its all great, it's what's expected...but sometimes I just wish...he wouldn't kiss me. When the chemistry is explosive, when the moment is perfect, the temptation is there, I wish he wouldn't do it. Think of the tension, how sweet that long waited kiss will be! I don't know, maybe I'm a nut. But sometimes, I just want to wonder--are you gonna kiss me or not?
PS. the title of this blog had nothing to do with the post, but I was recently introduced to the band "The Airborne Toxic Event," and they are fantastic. I'm slightly obsessed. Sometime Around Midnight