Monday, November 12, 2012

and with a proposal like that, you didn't find eternal bliss?


Let's start with a little scenario:

* Randolph texts Gracie Lou*

Randolph: hey what up?
Gracie Lou: Hey! How are you?
Randolph: good. so i was thinking we go out tomorrow night. you down?
Gracie Lou: ...

Now, first let me start off by giving Randolph props for asking Gracie Lou out in the first place. For some reason that seems to be a fleeting tradition in this day and age. However, I'm a girl that believes in chivalry and doing things the old fashioned way. I have had many people disagree with my thinking, and to them I say, stop reading my blog. It's all old fashioned baby. Also, those loudest advocates against my thought process are some friends whom are fast approaching their 30's..and still single. I asked them the last time they asked a girl on a date, my favorite answer was 2 years ago. Stay strong friends. You're going places.

So where was it that Randolph went wrong? Why didn't Gracie Lou graciously, eagerly accept his offer? Well, here are his main fault points--there are 2.

First, he texted her to ask her on a date. A little bit of me dies inside every time this happens. Personally, I will always (mostly) say no. Men, be men. Ask her out face to face or at the very least call her on the phone. Are you so afraid of rejection? The reality: either she wants to go out with you, or she doesn't. Whether you call or text her, if she doesn't like you, she'll say no. (As long as she's got some class and already gave you a fair shot.) However, if she does want to go out with you, if you text her rather than call/face her, she's wayyyy less likely to say yes. Texting leaves room for ambiguity and confusion. In a text (and albeit, a call (although, a call has at least voice inflections/tone of voice and possible hesitations?)) you can't read body language, which is so often a huge indicator. Texts are bland, casual, and impersonal. Who wants to be asked out like that?

Second, he barely gave her any notice. Gentlemen should always give at least three days notice. Ladies, don't accept any less. (Five to six days is most preferred. Girls need lots of prep...psychologically, physically...whatever. Haha. Just kidding. Kind of. Plus guys, this gives you ample time to prepare a super fabulous activity for y'all to enjoy. Right? Right.)  Usually, such short notice means a. someone else cancelled; b. he's lazy and didn't want to plan that far in the future; or c. he thinks you're going to be free. All are silly notions that you don't want or deserve, (even if you are free. He doesn't have to know that. You're a hot commodity, dang it woman!)

Also, a big pointer,  don't ever ask for or accept dates over facebook. I mean, honestly.

A good friend of mine, who also happens to be super fun and studly and a total babe, told me once that when he asks out a girl, he calls her up and gives her no less than a week, sometimes two, notice for a date. He then plans out these absolutely fantastic dates like food fights and pic nics and other cute, fun activities that allows him to see what kind of energy she has (which has to be tons and tons to match his own) but also that allows them to be able to talk and get to know each other. Which is why he's off the market and dating a super awesome girl right now. Those two. Obviously he's doing something right.

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