LESSON 6- HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY
Alright, this is one I struggle with. Letting someone know you aren't interested. I try really hard to be nice to everyone, and I'm really afraid of hurting people's feelings. Except in rare cases, I don't usually tell boy I'm not interested. I just usually tell them I'm busy or I stop answering texts--
that being said, gentlemen, if you ask a girl out, and she tells you she's busy without giving you another day as an option, she doesn't like you. Ladies, vice versa.
I do however, realize the cruelty in this. If you give someone a chance, and you decide you don't like them, let them know.
BUT, if you're interested in someone, and they don't like you, but aren't being upfront, these are signs to look for.
1. Unanswered calls/texts. The limit is 2 or 3. If you keep calling or texting after that, you're officially cast into CREEPZONE. If y'all thought friendzone was hard to get out of, creepzone is impossible. And if you take a girl out on a really horrible date and treat her really poorly, to the extent that she practically begs you to take her home, and you keep texting her the next day, and she tells you that you're a creep and to leave her alone, but you keep trying to talk to her anyways, 5 unanswered messages later, she will probably call the cops on you. For a random example...
2. "I'm busy." If a person isn't making time for you, they don't like you.
3. Girls, if he isn't calling you, if he isn't seeing you, if he doesn't ask you on a date, he doesn't like you. Period. Or at the very least, he doesn't like you enough. If a boy wants you to be in his life, he'll make an effort to have you there.
4. If they aren't committing, they don't like you. "It's not you, it's me." I'm sorry, but it's always you. We're about to get real personal here. But I do this so you can all understand where I'm coming from on some of this. I recently had an experience with a boy I liked a lot. We dated for a little while, but he was afraid of commitment, so we stopped seeing each other. Now, I understand probably better than anyone being "relationship phobic." I'm coming up on 20 years of being single. I don't do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, because it usually just stresses me out, so I avoid it. However, with this boy, I wanted it. I wanted to see him and only him. I wanted to be his girlfriend. I had no desire to spend time with anyone else. So, pretty big deal for me. And I couldn't let go. So a little while after we "broke up," whatever you want to call it, I went to see him. I told him I still had feelings for him, I told him I was scared, but I was in, because all I wanted was to be with him. He was this boy that treated me so nicely and made me so happy, that I was able to put my fears aside for this chance. He told me he had been hurt, and he was scared, and he had to think about it. Which crushed me. Because being with someone isn't something that needs to be thought out, considered for weeks, weighed out. If you want to be with someone, you'll be with them, fears and pains aside. And even though it broke my heart, I realized and told him that. Obviously we didn't get together, but at least now I know that even though he may have liked me, it just wasn't enough. I said everything I needed to say, and I put my whole heart out there, but as bad as I wanted it, he didn't. And I can move on knowing that this time, it wasn't because I was scared, I just wasn't the right person for him. Everyone you know and spend time with teaches you something. I learned that it's not necessarily that I can't commit, but simply that til this experience, I hadn't found a boy that my head and my heart wanted that with. Live and learn.
And because I'm uncomfortable being so serious, here's a little video for everyone to watch! ON A SCALE OF 1-NIGEL, HOW DATEBALE ARE YOU???
http://youtu.be/X5Bc4GRGT0M
Alright, this is one I struggle with. Letting someone know you aren't interested. I try really hard to be nice to everyone, and I'm really afraid of hurting people's feelings. Except in rare cases, I don't usually tell boy I'm not interested. I just usually tell them I'm busy or I stop answering texts--
that being said, gentlemen, if you ask a girl out, and she tells you she's busy without giving you another day as an option, she doesn't like you. Ladies, vice versa.
I do however, realize the cruelty in this. If you give someone a chance, and you decide you don't like them, let them know.
BUT, if you're interested in someone, and they don't like you, but aren't being upfront, these are signs to look for.
1. Unanswered calls/texts. The limit is 2 or 3. If you keep calling or texting after that, you're officially cast into CREEPZONE. If y'all thought friendzone was hard to get out of, creepzone is impossible. And if you take a girl out on a really horrible date and treat her really poorly, to the extent that she practically begs you to take her home, and you keep texting her the next day, and she tells you that you're a creep and to leave her alone, but you keep trying to talk to her anyways, 5 unanswered messages later, she will probably call the cops on you. For a random example...
2. "I'm busy." If a person isn't making time for you, they don't like you.
3. Girls, if he isn't calling you, if he isn't seeing you, if he doesn't ask you on a date, he doesn't like you. Period. Or at the very least, he doesn't like you enough. If a boy wants you to be in his life, he'll make an effort to have you there.
4. If they aren't committing, they don't like you. "It's not you, it's me." I'm sorry, but it's always you. We're about to get real personal here. But I do this so you can all understand where I'm coming from on some of this. I recently had an experience with a boy I liked a lot. We dated for a little while, but he was afraid of commitment, so we stopped seeing each other. Now, I understand probably better than anyone being "relationship phobic." I'm coming up on 20 years of being single. I don't do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, because it usually just stresses me out, so I avoid it. However, with this boy, I wanted it. I wanted to see him and only him. I wanted to be his girlfriend. I had no desire to spend time with anyone else. So, pretty big deal for me. And I couldn't let go. So a little while after we "broke up," whatever you want to call it, I went to see him. I told him I still had feelings for him, I told him I was scared, but I was in, because all I wanted was to be with him. He was this boy that treated me so nicely and made me so happy, that I was able to put my fears aside for this chance. He told me he had been hurt, and he was scared, and he had to think about it. Which crushed me. Because being with someone isn't something that needs to be thought out, considered for weeks, weighed out. If you want to be with someone, you'll be with them, fears and pains aside. And even though it broke my heart, I realized and told him that. Obviously we didn't get together, but at least now I know that even though he may have liked me, it just wasn't enough. I said everything I needed to say, and I put my whole heart out there, but as bad as I wanted it, he didn't. And I can move on knowing that this time, it wasn't because I was scared, I just wasn't the right person for him. Everyone you know and spend time with teaches you something. I learned that it's not necessarily that I can't commit, but simply that til this experience, I hadn't found a boy that my head and my heart wanted that with. Live and learn.
And because I'm uncomfortable being so serious, here's a little video for everyone to watch! ON A SCALE OF 1-NIGEL, HOW DATEBALE ARE YOU???
http://youtu.be/X5Bc4GRGT0M
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