begin again

This past year was incredibly hard.

 

Countless times I got on my knees and just poured my heart out to my Father in Heaven, asking Him to help me, to lift me, and without fail, every time, He did. Our Father's love is never out of reach.

 

Admittedly though, some of the things I went through, for whatever reason, I have not been able to move past. Until now. (Nothing like waiting til the very end of the year eh? I'm a master procrastinator. #reallybadatbeingserious #everyonehateshashtags) 

 

For those of you who know me well, you'll know I have a good friend serving his mission currently in Washington named Landon. I've known him for years, and he even broke my nose once...but I digress. The point is, Landon sends out a weekly email with videos and little messages, just so he can bear his testimony to some friends and family back home. They are all really wonderful, Landon has such a powerful testimony, and this week's in particular really struck a cord with me. I just want to share with you the video and what he had to say about it:

 

http://youtu.be/lrZij9MSTRI

 

so, i hope you were able to feel the power in that message. this came out last year and just stuck with me so much that i still remembered it and wanted to share it with you all. Don't look back. if you are having a hard time leaving something behind, how much harder can you make it by continuing to stare at it. and how much harder is it to go forward and stay on a good path and do good things while walking backwards or all sideways and awkward with your neck all crooked. we're designed physically as we are intentionally and i think there is a reason we can only look one direction at a time. i believe we can take hints and learn something about our spiritual, emotional selves by considering all that.

so, it's not a new principle, but i hope you'll consider it again, especially at this time when new beginnings are on everybody's minds. and maybe watch that video again, and apply what they are saying to you.

i promise you, people, you, do have the power to change.

i love you all.

-Elder Newton

 

Happy New Year everyone!

 

No regrets. It's time to begin again. After all, "no one ever gets to see what could have been."

 

we always make the cutest faces

 

time again for another good idea, bad idea

LESSON 14: GOOD (and bad) DATES CONTINUED...

It's that time again! Another good idea, bad idea--for dates.

GOOD IDEA: Drive in movie date

During the summer I was dating a guy, and one night we decided to see the new Spiderman movie. We went to dinner first at Carrabba's, (love that Italian food) and on our way to the movie, we bought candies (sour patch kids, some of my favorites) and a slurpee. I laughed through most of the night, and when he was walking me home, he kissed me in the rain. First kiss in the rain I ever had. Such a date can win her heart.


BAD IDEA: Being rude and then trying to kiss her

I met a guy last spring who told me he wanted to take me boating, however I got a weird vibe from this guy, so I declined. But he spent the next 3 hours trying to convince me he was a nice guy and his friends were cool, and blah blah blah. Why he was so insistent is beyond me. Don't most guys want to salvage their pride a little? So I finally agreed (under the pretenses (hoping in the very deepest part of my heart of hearts) my best friend would be able to join us) and he said he'd come get me in an hour. Not only did he show up 2 hours later, but when he did, he told me all his friends bailed, so he'd just take me out to get something to eat. I went, and he barely had time to talk to be because he was texting the whole time(ya that blog is coming), and when he did talk to me, he just told me how great he was, and belittled me in whatever way he could. Then when he dropped me off, he told me he was thirsty and asked if he could come in and get a drink. Reluctantly, I let him, and when he came in, he thought he'd try to kiss me. To which I promptly told him to get out of my house. Such a date derseves the move from What Happens in Vegas...


SIDE NOTE:
I have officially been writing in my blog for a year. Wooooo! Kudos to me for committing to something. Especially because I used to make fun of my mom and oldest sister for writing blogs--I always thought blogs were for losers. And look at me now! Either blogs got cooler or I got lamer...

In honor, I have condensed my blogs into one, mostly because I don't want to manage 2 anymore, and renamed it. But fret not, more dating advice to come.

And since it's Christmas time (ish) I present this video:

Muppet Carol of the Bells

The Swedish Chef kills me.

you're still my best friend!

LESSON 13: YOUR VERY (NOT) BEST FRIEND

It's time to talk about that age old question: can men and women be just friends?

Many of you watched that video, why men and women can't be friends. Likewise, Huffington Post came out with this article a while ago on the subject, and the consensus seems to be: while they can be, either one or both parties wants more. I have said time and time again, if you are spending an inordinate amount of time with a member of the opposite sex, there's an attraction. This may come across as shallow, but lesbihonest, you're not going to spend all your time with someone who repulses you, right? It's one of those harsh realities you are going to need to accept. Because that's just the way humans are wired. Now, I'm not saying you're going to want to make babies with every one of your friends, just that there is some level of attraction, and it's not even always physical.

At this point, you're probably going through some platonic relationships you have, thinking to yourself "but I have this friend, and we are just good friends, I am not romantically interested in them at all." If such is the case, the attraction is on their part. OR, you have/will think about being romantically involved at some point. In my experience, I have found that two "best friends" that talk and hang out all the time, one or both of them haven't ruled out the possibility of something more. But, often times either party is too scared to say anything because "they don't want to ruin what they have." Another harsh reality though: in 1-5 years, you're likely not going to be friends anyways. Not as close anyways--this is the rule, obviously there are exceptions. Let me tell you how many people that I was close to from high school I still have frequent contact with...I can name them all on less than one hand. So if you're spending so much time with someone, and you've thought about asking them out, do it! What harm can it do? If things don't work out, guess what, you probably wouldn't be talking to them in a few years anyways. Plus, I've gone on dates with friends, and we either became closer to becoming something because of it, or it didn't effect anything and we could still spend time together just fine regardless. Doesn't the possibility of what could be outweigh the sting of what will turn into inevitable rejection? Think about it.

500 Days of Summer. Watch that movie.

this was fun, i'll give you a call, we'll do it again sometime

LESSON 13: SECOND DATES












Ya I've got nothing, because I rarely go on any...at least in comparison to first dates. Comme ci, comme ca.


Now, please enjoy 10 hours of this running horse. It's like a train wreck, you don't want to watch, but you just can't look away...

http://youtu.be/AEOpX8tmiUI

"it's the end of the world as we know it"

Disclaimer: I am very passionate tonight, so if you are a feminist, sorry if I offend you, but read this.

I have always considered myself the antifeminist. I would love to just be home, raising kids, chilling in the kitchen. Just call me Donna Reed.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who told me I had no ambition because I have no desire to go to school. Thanks. Rude. My ambition in life is to be a mom. I don't care to get a degree, because I just want to have kids, I have not now, nor ever had any desire to have a career. My mom is my hero, not because she is some high standing lawyer, or because she runs a business, but because she is first and foremost, my mom. That woman has raised 10 children side by side with my dad. He works hard out in the world while she works hard at home. You push 10 human beings out of your body after being pregnant for a collective 90 months, feed them, change their diapers, heal their hearts, clean their wounds, and teach them morals and values and say your job is harder.

http://fox13now.com/2012/12/11/group-encourages-lds-women-to-wear-pants-to-church/

This post however is not about my dream of being a mom, it's about the importance of women. The link above leads to a story about a group of women in the church who are protesting for equality in the church by wearing pants this Sunday to their meetings. Nevermind how completely inappropriate that is, but how sad it is to me that these women don't recognize their value. Earlier tonight I participated in one of those pointless facebook posts arguing my point (have you met my mother?) and I saw a lot of people arguing the degradation and oppression of women in the LDS church...hmm...

"The Relief Society is the oldest and largest women's organization in the world. Relief Society was established in 1842 for women 18 years of age and older. Its purpose is to build faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and help those in need."

Really? We are oppressing women, but we have the oldest, largest woman's organization in the world? Good call. I was called a few weeks ago to be a secretary in my ward's Relief Society, and neither in this nor any other calling I have had, have I felt insignificant as a woman. The amount of service we do (not just in my ward, but as sisters) is incredible. We provide charity. Such an act is unsurpassable in this church, as stated in the scriptures. The women may not hold the priesthood or be prophets, but that's because we don't need to. Just like we are not charged with the duty of serving a mission the same as the boys, but we do have that ability. President Hinckley almost never gave talks that didn't at one point or another acknowledge the importance of women, and how special we should be treated. Men and women do have gender roles as defined in this church by The Family: A Proclamation to the World. But neither is superior. Merely different. I don't know if y'all have noticed by now, but men and women are different. Physically, mentally, spiritually. We are simply not built to do the same things or perform the same duties. Women think and feel differently than men. There's a divine reason we as women of this church are asked to stay home and have and raise and nurture children. There's a divine reason men are asked to go out and provide for their families. There's a reason they hold the priesthood.

Gordon B. Hinckley, prior President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, said:
“Women do not hold the priesthood because the Lord has put it that way. It is part of His program. Women have a very prominent place in this Church. Men hold the priesthood offices of the Church. But women have a tremendous place in this Church. They have their own organization. It was started in 1842 by the Prophet Joseph Smith, called the Relief Society, because its initial purpose was to administer help to those in need. It has grown to be, I think, the largest women’s organization in the world... They have their own offices, their own presidency, their own board. That reaches down to the smallest unit of the Church everywhere in the world...
“The men hold the priesthood, yes. But my wife is my companion. In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are co-equals in this life in a great enterprise.”

Joseph Fielding Smith explains further:

"Women do not hold the priesthood, but if they are faithful and true they will become priestesses and queens in the kingdom of God, and that implies that they will be given authority. The women do not hold the priesthood with their husbands, but they do reap the benefits coming from that priesthood."

The priesthood is bestowed upon men by God. Once they receive the priesthood, it is their sacred calling and duty to honor and magnify it. Women have been given a different calling. They are chosen by God to be the mothers of men. Is one greater than the other? No, both are equally as important but each has its own responsibilities and tasks.

A man cannot receive exaltation without being married and sealed to a woman. And vice versa. "Nevertheless, neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 11:11. Those feminists who don't agree with this and feel the need to protest this Sunday obviously do not understand the principles of this gospel. If the Lord ordained men to have the priesthood, He has His reasoning, so who are we to even question that? I have always felt precious in this church, like a daughter of God, like a princess. Because we all are. Even the feminists.

get your legs flexin and your arms t-rexin and do the creep

LESSON 12: DON'T GIVE YOUR DATE A CONCUSSION

Apparently tonight was flashback night. First, while at work, the brother of an old..ish ex came in, and started telling me what beautiful eyes I had. Then he realized who I was, got his yogurt, asked how my night was, told me his brother was gay (not really gay) and left.

Afterwards, I went over to see some new friends, and at their apartment, I run into an ex of one of my close friends from home, whom I have not seen since...March? So also, a little weird. (Probably not weird to any of you who don't know the story, which is most of you, but it was definitely unexpected for me.)

Then, since apparently I can't go to bed before 2:00 am now, I started doing some creeping on a boy I had dated just before moving to Utah, we'll call him Pursuit. Sometimes I'm just a creep. (Like all of you aren't!)

I also take pictures of interesting strangers I encounter daily:

On my most recent trip to California, I encountered the One True Ruler of Middle Earth. Nbd.

Anyways. So I was just curious about Pursuit's life, so I'm just going through pictures and whatnot, when I remember a story. It's too bad things didn't work out because this would have been classic to tell our kids.

MY FIRST DATE WITH PURSUIT

Part of the reason I didn't go out on many dates before leaving home was the fact that I lived 40 minutes from any town. However, one night in my Institute class, I meet this nice boy, and he tells me he would like to take me on a date. Graciously I accept, and that weekend, he drives from town, picks me up, and takes me back into town for our date. That ends up being 160 minutes for him by the time he arrives home. Like I said, nicest kid. So, as the main portion of this date, he takes me to this country dancing night. Now, those of you that know me know how lethal that is. Not only am I completely and utterly uncoordinated, but I am also incredibly accident prone. I have 2 broken noses to prove it. I try to warn him, but he is so excited, and regardless of the fact that I shouldn't, I still and have always loved dancing, so I complied with whatever he wanted to try. That is, until everyone decided it was "tall, strong boy backflip over your weeny clumsy lady partner" time. I was supposed to do some fancy spin or other, then bend over and link our arms so he can back flip over me. Terrible explanation? I know. But it's the best I can do. End result: I must support him as he flips over me. Now, to be fair, I pleaded with him not to try it. I said over and over that I would fall over and I would drop him. Poor naive Pursuit thought I was being humble/silly/whateverIdon'tknowwhyhewouldn'tbelievemeIdidtheaterforsevenyearsdangit!
He would not listen, and wanting to be a good date and make him happy, I bent down and prayed that somehow, somewhere deep inside I would find the strength to hold up this 6'4" lifeguard, swim coach guy. Unfortunatly these hopes were folly, and the moment he put all of his weight on me, I collapsed like Lindsay Lohan under the pressures of drugs and fame. He managed to fall away from me, so I was fine, but Pursuit was not so much. Landing on his head, he ended up getting a concussion.

I  g a v e  a  b o y  a  c o n c u s s i o n  o n  o u r  f i r s t  d a t e.

Somehow though, we ended up dating for a little bit afterwards. Maybe I need to go dancing with boys more often?

Moral of the story: if a girl says she can't support you, SHE CAN'T SUPPORT YOU.

Perhaps things would have been different had I danced like this:
http://youtu.be/tLPZmPaHme0

remember who you are

LESSON 11: DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE A DAMSEL

I always have the most interesting people come in and talk to me at work. This week was no exception. So as I am sitting there, making parfaits, a guy comes in and strikes up a conversation with me. He begins telling me about a boy that he had observed come in, that so obviously liked me, under the authority that he is trying to write a book about dating and relationships. I however did not agree, because although that boy likes to talk to me a lot at work and whatnot, he hasn't asked me out. I have said it a million times and I'll say it again: if a boy likes a girl, he will ask her out. Period.

Then he offered this perspective: he said, take a look at the media today. Family Guy, American Dad, Simpsons, etc. the father figure in all of these shows is a lazy, bumbling idiot. He said, he feels that in society today, the man is portrayed as a couch potato type, sitting around waiting to be rescued by his wife. Roles of men and women have been reversed, and men no longer feel that women need them. Women have become so strong and independent, that they are not "damsels in distress" but rather the heroine that if she has time, will look for a man as her sidekick. The movie Brave. Case and point. He said its very intimidating to try to take on a role that has become out dated and seemingly unnecessary, particularly when it's mens' instinct to be the protector, to "wear the pants," to be the knight in shining armor, to feel needed. Elder D. Todd Christofferson gave an amazing talk about this in the last priesthood session of General Conference. Whether the reason for this change in "gender roles" be because men got lazy and women have stepped up, or because women became selfish and were not able to recognize that being a wife and a mother is the single most important position they will ever hold, or both, society reflects that such is the case.

So all I ask, is that those of us ladies that know what is right and important, that are still damsels waiting for our knight, let men know how important and needed they are. Say yes to dates. Be kind, and gentle, men's hearts are often more fragile than you know. And guys, take heart that there are still girls that dream of fairy tale love and are waiting for you. So be men, and ask girls out. Reclaim your territory dangit!