LESSON 3: APPROPRIATE KISSING
I was having a discussion with a good friend of mine the other day, and I said, as a lady, I think it's shady if a boy kisses you before the third date. He told me that it should be the second date because, "boys feel entitled to a first date. A second date however, means that she liked him enough to go out with him again, and therefore, he can kiss her."
A little food for thought. He has a very solid point. So I got to thinking...
First date kiss--I know from experience and have been told this many times, a boy will kiss a girl on the first date if he doesn't see it going anywhere. So ladies, if its your first date, and he leans in 90 degrees, he doesn't like you. He lusts you. And I've heard the line "I don't know what it is about you. I never kiss girls on the first date. You're just different. You're special. I feel this connection with you.." blah blah blah. He is so full of crap, and he's going to try to schmooze his way in. I've fallen for it. But I've learned better, so now I'm sharing my wisdom with you. And even on the rare occasion that it all might be true, if you kiss him on your first date, you're already taking big steps and crossing lines in that relationship that you can't take back. And things will escalate quicker. But just try to remember, you're not the exception. Ever. You're the rule. Sorry.
Second date kiss--For me, this is like, hey you're cool, we have fun together, let's see if we have some potential towards a relationship. This is more, getting to know the person, finding out a little bit more about how they think, just a little more insight into their story. For me personally, this is still too early for taking that step. I still feel like, I don't really know him, he doesn't really know me, so how could he know if he wants to get involved emotionally with me?
Third date kiss--Here's where the money is at. Because usually, by now, you've spent enough time together to know if you like him, if he likes you, if y'all can pursue some kind of real relationship*.
*If he kisses you and doesn't want to establish a relationship, then he sucks. Friends should never kiss friends. President Spencer W. Kimball said “Kissing has … degenerated to develop and express lust instead of affection, honor, and admiration. To kiss in casual dating is asking for trouble. What do kisses mean when handed out like pretzels and robbed of sacredness?”
In a 2001 New Era, Bruce Monson gives a talk on this subject, and I think he's got a really solid point. Read it. I've had many conversations on the subject and I'm tired of arguing with friends that kissing with no strings attached is wrong. Read again what President Kimball has to say. I have nothing left to add.
And while on the subject, girls, if a boy calls you after 9pm to "come watch a movie," he's horny and he just wants to kiss you. That is a booty call. It's a jerk move on his part, and a decision of loose morals on yours if you respond. You have so much value as a woman, as a lady, as a daughter of God. Don't cheapen yourself. And don't put him in that position either, (because I know boys aren't the only one to use this trick.) I truly feel that if everyone recognized their self worth, we would all treat each other better.
"People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. There is much chaos in this world because things are being loved and people are being used."--Anonymous