Saturday, August 31, 2013

let's go to the bank-ank, let's go cash our pay. they say, what they gonna say?


*Note: All names have been changed for the privacy of those involved. And although it sounds made up, it is 100 percent true. (Except the names..)

Once upon a time, there was a girl. Her name was, Rolivia. She liked this boy. His name was HotShot. Now, Rolivia and HotShot kind of started this thing, and it was all cute and flowers and birds singing. He told her he wanted to see if she was the girl he could marry, and blah blah blah. Whatever. That's another story. Anyways, then he blew her off--no one blows of Rolivia--and tells her about all the girls that are trying to date him because he's a big deal. So she calls him up to tell him what an idiot he is. The conversation does not go well...

All that being said, Rolivia is now in a so super bad mood. Which she is almost never anything but a shiny happy person! But not today. And here's where our real story starts. It is a Monday.

Rolivia has the day off work, so she decides to run some errands. Literally, because she totaled her car so she has no other mode of transportation. Except her bike which she frequently crashes. In any case, she is running all over town, sweating in the blistering July heat, when she remembers she needs to go to the bank to deposit her tips. Now, Rolivia is still in a very bad mood,  and when she walks into the bank, she's all sweaty and has no more make up and she knows her tips to deposit are pathetic, so she just wants to get in and out as fast as humanly possible. So one of the tellers calls her over, pulls up her account, tries to make polite chit chat. He asks her if she's working...(the next part is relevant, I promise.)

JULY 29, 2013
3:00 PM  

Rolivia: Yes.

Bank Dude: Where do you work?

Rolivia: PF Chang's.

Bank Dude: Oh cool! Do you know Schela?

Rolivia: I do, she's great

Bank Dude: I love her! We used to hang out all the time...blah blah blah.

Rolivia: Cool, well, I gotta go. Thanks for your help

End of interaction.

JULY 29, 2013
4:19 PM

*New text from an unknown number*
Hey! How are you?

R: I'm sorry, I recently got a new phone, who is this?

Unknown: do you remember who just helped you at the bank...
*he did not ever tell me his name *

R: Um did you just get my number from Schela?

Creepy Bank Dude: if that creeps you out I just couldn't ask you out at work

R: I'm not available to be asked out

Creepy Bank Dude: Oh! I didn't know you had a boyfriend. Well feel free to come in the bank anytime;)


Later that evening I met up with Schela and asked her if she gave some creepy boy my number. She said she didn't and proceeded to tell me all the terrible stories about him trying to make a move on her while she's involved with someone else. I mean, she's a babe, but dude, for real? All that being said, I had to conclude that he got my number from my account in the bank system...

*Text Conversation*

R: So I'm sitting here with Schela...she didn't give you my number. I feel like it's a serious violation of my privacy for you to get it from the bank system

CBD: I'm sick to my stomach, and sorry.

9:50 AM

*New text*

CBD: What do you want from me?

I then proceeded to lay into him about the seriousness of his violation. The super long, in depth seriousness that makes him realize he can lose his job. He pleads for understanding, and I stop responding...

I never made a formal complaint, but you can pretty much guess that he cried. And probably pooped his pants. But I guarantee he won't be trying that again!

Let's see what Channing Tatum and Jimmy Fallon have to say about it all..

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